Classic Comedies:

Funniest Movie
Moments and Scenes


Title Screen
Movie Title/Year and Scene Descriptions

Take the Money and Run (1969)

  • the sight of neurotic cello player Virgil Starkwell (Woody Allen) playing in a marching band
  • the mockumentary interview with Virgil's embarrassed parents (who both wore Groucho Marx disguises)
  • the scene of one of many of Virgil's failed, compulsive escape attempts from prison, when his self-made soap gun melted in a sudden rainstorm
  • the scene of Virgil agreeing to an experimental vaccine in prison in order to be paroled - temporarily turning him into a rabbi ("one temporary side effect")
  • the scene of Virgil needing money to get married, leading to a bank robbery by the nebbish crook - including his handwritten, mis-spelled and illegible stickup note for $50,000 (and the subsequent discussion with two bank tellers as the note was passed along): ("Does this look like "gub" or "gun"? - Teller: "But what does "abt" mean?" - Virgil: "It's "act". A-C-T. Act natural")
  • the narrator's description of his undernourishment when served only one meal a day on the chain gang: "Food on a chain gang is scarce and not very nourishing. The men get one hot meal a day: a bowl of steam"
  • Virgil's interview in his prison cell after being sentenced to 800 years in federal prison, and was confident he could cut the sentence in half; he asserted: "I think crime definitely pays. And you know, it's a great job, the hours are good, and you're your own boss. And you travel a lot, and you get to meet interesting people, and uh, I just think it's a good job in general"; and then he described his time carving work in shop (making another soap-gun) and inquired (with the film's last line): "Do you know if it's raining out?"

Taking Off (1971)

  • the scene of upset middle-class parents from suburban Forest Hills, NY: balding, bespectacled, misguided and overworked Larry (Buck Henry) and overwrought nagging Lynn Tyne (Lynn Carlin), in attendance at a black-tie dinner meeting in a ballroom with other like-minded, middle-aged adults in a self-help group - the Society for Parents of Fugitive Children (S.P.F.C.) - and the offbeat hilarious sequence of experimenting with smoking pot for the first time at an "Intro to Smoking Pot" class, painstakingly led by expert Vince Schiavelli (as Himself in his debut film) who delivered step-by-step instructions: ("Now the other thing that you must remember, is that after you inhale, you take the joint and you pass it to the person sitting next to you. Do not, repeat, do not hold onto the joint. This is called bogarting the joint, and it is very rude. So you take it and you pass it to the person sitting next to you until the joint gets passed around and it's very, very small. That is called a roach... - and I will collect those. Now are there any other questions before we light up?"); although most of the adults claimed they felt nothing, he was amused that they began acting strangely and letting go (dancing, touching, singing, and feeling vibrations)
  • the cutaway scenes from the main story - of youth exploitation by counter-cultural judges as many hopeful, talented (and untalented) young female singers and songwriters were auditioned at an open microphone including sweet-faced, long-haired Mary Mitchell's (as Herself) melodious folk song played very sincerely with a lute - "Ode to a Screw" with dirty lyrics: "You can fuck the lilies and the roses too. You can fuck the maidens who swear they’ve never been screwed. You can fuck the Russians and the English too. You can fuck the Germans and every pushy Jew. Fuck the Queens. Fuck the Kings. Fuck the boys with the very small dings. Fuck the birds, fuck the pigs, fuck the everything with a thorny twig. You can fuck the Astros and all nurses in white. You should fuck the uglies just to be kind and polite. You can fuck the Moon and June and the Sea. But before you fuck them, first you must fuck me"
  • the sequence of the Tynes at their home with other support-group parents, Ann (Audra Lindley) and Ben Lockston (Paul Benedict), playing a hilarious drunken game of strip poker - Texas One Card Showdown; part way through the game, Lynn had to remove her top, and Ben complimented Larry with the quip: "My compliments to the chef"; soon, she was topless and trying to cover up; eventually, Larry was completely stripped down, standing on the table and singing an Italian opera song aria from Verdi's La Traviata (Libiamo ne' lieti calici); to his surprise, he looked up and saw his awoken and shocked, allegedly runaway 15 year-old daughter Jeannie Tyne (Linnea Heacock) looking down from the upstairs balcony at her drunk and stoned parents; after the guests left, Larry asked Lynn: "Do you think we ought to talk to her?"

"Ode to a Screw"

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)

  • the 'Baby Jesus' Grace scene, when low brow Southern NASCAR driver Ricky Bobby (Will Ferrell) humorously offered grace at the family dinner table over a spread of Domino's Pizza, KFC, Wonder Bread, Coca-Cola and beer. He was interrupted by his wife Carley (Leslie Bibb), who interjected and argued with him about which Jesus to pray to:
    -- Ricky: "Dear Lord Baby Jesus, or as our brothers in the South call you: 'Hey-suz'. We thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family: my two beautiful, beautiful, handsome striking sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, or TR as we call him. And, of course, my red hot smokin' wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox, who if you would rate her ass on 100, it would easily be a 94. I also want to thank you for my best friend and teammate, Cal Naughton Jr., who's got my back no matter what...Dear Lord Baby Jesus, we also thank you for my wife's father Chip. We hope that you can use your Baby Jesus powers to heal him and his horrible leg. It smells terrible and the dogs are always botherin' with it. Dear Tiny Infant Jesus..."
    -- Carley: "Hey, um... you know, sweetie, Jesus did grow up. You don't always have to call him baby. It's a bit odd and off puttin' to pray to a baby."
  • Ricky Bobby's TV commercial for chewing gum: "Hi, I'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red, then f--k you."

Team America: World Police (2004)

  • the pre-sex love scene between two life-like puppets/marionettes: Gary Johnston (voice of Trey Parker) and Lisa (voice of Kristen Miller), when she made an impossible request: "Only if you could promise me you'll never die...If you did that, I would make love to you right now"; he quickly agreed: "I promise I will never die" - and they kissed
  • the following scene was their hilarious and infamous marionette bedroom sex scene, including intensive and humorous hard-core sex between the two puppets (without genitalia), who were engaged in various positions, starting out with regular missionary positions (from the front and from behind, with the male and female alternating to be on top), but then including oral sex on the male, and the female being taken from behind, hardcore '69' sex, and even offensive scenes of a golden shower onto the female's face and defecation onto the male's face!
  • the scene of Gary's plastic surgery skin grafting (and laser valmorification) to make him look more Middle-Eastern and fool the terrorists, including proboscis, mandible and iris pigmentation modification -- and the reveal scene when Gary was asked to view his new face in a mirror: "Sit up and take a look Gary"
  • and Gary's impersonation of a headdress-wearing, bearded terrorist to other jihadists: "F--k Derk Derk Allah, Derka Derka Muhammad Jihad. Hake Sherpa Sherpa Bakala"; after an ominous pause, they allowed him entry into a 'hive of villainy' (similar to Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)); he introduced himself to two other Somalian terrorists and directly asked: "My name is Hakmed. I'm a terrorist. Anybody know of any terrorist attacks coming up soon?"
  • Gary's on-stage passionate speech to the United Nations and world leaders about three groups: Team America ("dicks"), Kim Jong Il ("asshole"), and Film Actors Guild ("pussies")
    - "We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get f--ked by dicks. But dicks also f--k assholes - assholes who just want to s--t on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way, but the only thing that can f--k an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they f--k too much, or f--k when it isn't appropriate...and it takes a pussy to show 'em that. But sometimes pussies get so full of s--t that they become assholes themselves, because pussies are only an inch-and-a-half away from assholes. I don't know much in this crazy, crazy world, but I do know that if you don't let us f--k this asshole, we are going to have our dicks and our pussies all covered in s--t"

Ted (2012)

  • the scene of cuddly live teddy bear Ted (voice of Seth MacFarlane) racing into the bed of mid-30s Bostonian John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) and his younger girlfriend Lori Collins (Mila Kunis) at the sound of thunder; the two "thunder buddies for life" began singing the Thunder Song: "When you hear the sound of thunder / Don't you get too scared / Just grab your thunder buddy / And say these magic words: / "F--k you, thunder! / You can suck my dick! / You can't get me, thunder / 'Cause you're just God's farts!"; they ended the song by blowing farts

Terms of Endearment (1983)

  • the persistent womanizing by raunchy ex-astronaut Garrett Breedlove (Oscar-winning Jack Nicholson) of his neighbor - Texas widow Aurora Greenway (Oscar-winning Shirley MacLaine), when she quipped back at him: "Imagine you having a date with someone where it wasn't a felony"
  • their first lunch date when he realized she was very uptight: ("I, uhm, think we're going to have to get drunk....You got me into this, and you're just gonna have to trust me about this one thing. You need a lot of drinks....To kill the bug that you have up your ass"); subsequently, she ordered Wild Turkey bourbon
  • his wild car beach drive (steering with his feet while she accelerated) into the ocean, while he was yelling out: "Wind in the hair! Lead in the pencil! Feet controlling the universe! Breedlove at the helm! Just keep pumping that throttle! Keep giving it that gas! I see the Gulf of Mexico below me!...Give it a chance....Fly me to the moon!" - and he was propelled into the water when they hit the water; when she tromped over to him, he joked: "If you wanted to get me on my back, you just had to ask me" and then when they kissed and he copped a feel, she complained: "Get it out of there!...Get it out!...We were having such a good time and you had to go do this!"
  • and then when they returned to her home and she invited him inside, he replied: "I'd rather stick needles in my eyes!" She responded: "Everything would have been just fine, you know, if you hadn't gotten drunk. I just didn't want you to think I was like one of your other girls"; he told her: "Not much danger in that unless you curtsy on my face real soon" - and then admitted: "I don't know what it is about you, but you do bring out the devil in me"

There's Something About Mary (1998)

  • Ben Stiller's vulgar romantic comedy about 29 year-old Ted Stroehmann (Ben Stiller) and his continuing obsessive love - 13 years later - for his ditzy high school dream girl Mary Jensen (Cameron Diaz) - and his competition with other deceitful male suitors for her love and attention
  • the flashback scene of geeky, shaggy-haired, braces-wearing, accident-prone Ted's painful, pants-zipper accident that injured his male organ - soon after he arrived on the night of his high school prom at Mary's house in 1985; the accident occurred as he was peeing and innocently (through the window) caught a glimpse of Mary changing in her bedroom, became distracted, and zipped his fly into his genitals; her solicitous step-father (Keith David) made incredulous queries about the incident: "Is it the frank or the beans?" and "How the hell d’ya get the beans above the frank?", followed by the paramedic's cry: "We've got a bleeder!"
  • the gross-out, iconic, disgusting image of Mary's upturned hair with a unique brand of home-made hair-gel that was dangling and borrowed from Ted's left ear lobe ("What is that? On your ear. No, your left ear. Is that hair-gel?") after he had masturbated
  • the scenes with the landlady's hyperactive dog Puffy, who attacked Ted, and then was secretly oversedated by sleazy and smarmy private detective Pat Healy (Matt Dillon) with spiked treats; the dog was miraculously revived from death by electrocution from an AC cord - but it set Pat on fire
  • the painful scene of Ted's mouth being hooked by a large fishing line hook while standing on a wharf and speaking to Mary
  • Ted's scene with a rambling, persuasive hitchhiker-salesman (Harland Williams) who enthusiastically promoted his new product (7 Minute Abs exercise video): ("Think about it. You walk into a video store, you see 8-Minute Abs sittin' there, there's 7-Minute Abs right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man?...Bingo, man, bingo. 7-Minute Abs. And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8-minute folk....If you're not happy with the first 7 minutes, we're gonna send you the extra minute free. You see? That's it. That's our motto. That's where we're comin' from. That's from "A" to "B"...No! No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody's comin' up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes? You won't even get your heart goin', not even a mouse on a wheel...7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 dwarves. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby. Step into my office....'Cause you're f--kin' fired!")

The Thin Man (1934)

  • the clever wisecracking, loving quips and bantering between the sophisticated, tippling and witty sleuthing couple Nick and Nora Charles (William Powell and Myrna Loy) -- i.e. Nick: "Oh, I'm a hero. I was shot twice in the Tribune." Nora: "I read you were shot five times in the tabloids." Nick: "It's not true. He didn't come anywhere near my tabloids"
  • also the scene of Nora's noisy and sprawling entrance (a typical screwball comedy pratfall) into a restaurant laden with Christmas packages and dragged by their dog Asta
  • and the sequence in their bedroom in which Nick punched out his wife to protect her from a gunman's line of fire

30: Minutes Or Less (2011)

  • in this heist comedy, the drop-off/exchange scene at an abandoned rail-yard in Grand Rapids, Michigan between pot-smoking slacker pizza delivery-boy Nick Davis (Jesse Eisenberg) and hitman Chango (Michael Peña); after Nick handed over a bag of cash (from a bank robbery), he became exasperated when his demands for a code in exchange (to deactivate the bomb rigged to explode in his vest) were mocked and ignored: (Chango: "Like Da Vinci Code, like Code Red, like the 'Contra' Code? Like 'Up, Down, Up, Down, Select, Select, A, B, A, B, left, right, left, right, that one?"); Nick threatened as he opened his vest: ("Okay, you know, dude, stop messing with me. Just give me the f--king code, okay?...Give me the f--king code for the bomb, okay?"); Chango also became very aggravated and pulled out his gun: "Who brings a f--kin' bomb to a drop, homie?...Say code again, motherf--ker! Please, say it one more time. One more time, Say it, say it. Say it. I'll just shoot you in the face, I'll shoot you in the face, so that you don't explode and mess up my s--t. Say code one more time, I just wanna hear it"
  • eventually, the code to deactivate the vest bomb was revealed to be 69-69-69!

This Is Spinal Tap (1984)

  • the scene of legendary bogus heavy-metal British rock group singer and lead guitarist Nigel Tufnel's (Christopher Guest) guitar room where he showed off all of his cherished guitar-instruments to rockumentary, cinema verite film-maker Marty Di Bergi (Rob Reiner); he first noted: "I play them and I cherish them"; he also bragged as he held up one beauty: "Just listen for a minute...The sustain, listen to it"; Di Bergi responded: "I'm not hearing anything" - when Nigel added: "You would though, if it were playing"; he also stipulated about another "special" guitar: "It can't be played, never!" and Di Bergi wasn't allowed to even look at it
  • the famous "The numbers all go to 11" quote in which Nigel showed off his very special Marshall amp - boasting that the amplifier could go "one louder" up to a volume setting of eleven ("The numbers all go to 11") - and his blank response to Di Bergi's query why they just didn't make 10 louder: "Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?" - Nigel thought for a moment, and then reiterated: "These go to 11"
  • also, the scene of their arrival in America to endorse their new and controversially-sexist album/cover Smell the Glove (filled with vulgar songs such as "Big Bottomed Woman ", "Sex Farm Woman", and the memorable song fusing Bach and Mozart (or M-ach) "Lick My Love Pump" with offensive lyrics) - and attired in complete heavy metal regalia
  • also the scene of bass player Derek Small's (Harry Shearer) 'enhanced' embarrassment when caught at an airplane security check with a cucumber wrapped in aluminum foil stuffed in his pants, after being asked: "Do you have any artificial plates or limbs?..."
  • the scene at the gravesite of Elvis Presley in Memphis after their show was cancelled when they harmonized on "Heartbreak Hotel"
  • the airforce base concert where the straight audience was disgusted by their song "Sex Farm Woman"
  • and the scene backstage in North Carolina when Nigel became angered because the meat slices for sandwiches were larger than the "miniature bread" slices
  • and the band's convoluted attempts to walk from their basement dressing room to the stage at their Cleveland concert in the Xanadu Star Theater, and their receipt of confusing directions from a black backstage worker: ("You go right straight through this door here, down the hall, turn right, and then there's a little jog there, about 30 feet. Jog to the left...Go straight ahead. Go straight ahead, turn right the next two corners, and on the first door is a sign: 'Authorized Personnel Only.' Open that door. That's the stage...You're authorized. You're musicians, aren't ya?"); they prematurely began yelling "Hello Cleveland" but realized that within the maze of corridors, they ended up back with the worker - who noted: "You must've made a wrong turn"
  • and the disastrous Stonehenge finale in which an undersized 18 inch miniature Stonehenge monolith monument was constructed (the specifications were doodled on a bar napkin for the designer who claimed: "lan, I was asked to build it 18 inches high! Look, look, look. This is what I was asked to build. 18 inches, right here, it's specified, 18 inches. I was given this napkin, I mean"; Ian responded: "Forget this. F--k the napkin!"; later, the small monument was lowered to the stage and dwarfed by a pair of midgets cavorting around it, and the discussion that followed: ("I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem may have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object")
  • the last line of the film after the end credits - Nigel's response when asked if he would be happy being a shoe salesman: "Well, I don't know. What are the hours?"

Three Amigos! (1986)

  • in this comedy western, the characters of The Three Amigos - three silent movie cowboy stars (Chevy Chase as Dusty Bottoms, Steve Martin as Lucky Day, and Martin Short as Ned Nederlander)
  • their debate about the meaning of the word "in-famous" - referring to Mexican outlaw bandit leader El Guapo (Alfonso Arau): Ned: "In-famous is when you're MORE than famous. This man El Guapo, he's not just famous, he's IN-famous"; Lucky: "100,000 pesos to do a personal appearance with this guy El Guapo, who's probably the biggest actor to come out of Mexico!" Dusty: "Wow, the in-famous? In-famous?"
  • the singing of their theme song, with their impossibly long-held note that lasted for over a minute
  • their entry into a dark and gritty Santo Poco saloon full of stunned Mexican banditos (who were told to expect vicious violent foreigners); Dusty noted: "Looks like somebody's been down here with the ugly stick"; as out-of-towners, they ordered beer, but drank tequila instead ("We don't have no beer, just tequila...Uh, it's like beer"), and while waiting performed a song/dance performance of "My Little Buttercup"
  • outside, when they spotted a small bi-plane flying over, Ned noted: "It's a male plane", although his buddies thought he meant 'mail plane'; Ned added: "Didn't you notice its little balls? Little balls sticking down"
  • their grand entrance to confront the bandits, insulting them: "Well, you slime eating dogs! You scum sucking pigs! You sons of a motherless goat!...Wherever there is injustice, you will find us. Wherever there is suffering, we'll be there!...Wherever liberty is threatened! You will find The Three Amigos!"
  • the scene of Dusty being offered a kiss by Rosita (Benita Telles): "Have you ever kissed a girl?...Would you like to kiss me?...Well?...Well, we could take a walk and you could kiss me on the veranda" - he responded: "Lips would be fine"
  • the scene of Ned's regaling the peasant children with a story about silent film actress Dorothy Gish: ("One time, Dorothy Gish was visiting me on the set of Little Neddy, Grab Your Gun. And she came up to me and she looked me in the face and, I'd never met her, I'd just known her from films, you know, Dorothy Gish, Lillian's sister - and she looked me in the eyes and she said: 'Young man, you have got it.' And. Ah! Dorothy Gish. It's a true story")
  • around the campfire, their cowboy lullaby "Blue Shadows on the Trail" (sung with a guitar by Dusty, accompanied vocally by their singing horses and desert animals!)
  • also the scene with Ned drinking from a canteen full of dirt, while Dusty had a full canteen of water that he wasted, and then offered: "Lip balm?"
  • and the hysterical Singing Bush (voice of Randy Newman) scene in which the Amigos attempted to summon The Invisible Swordsman to appear for mystical aid, though Dusty accidentally killed him by firing sideways: (Lucky Day: "You killed the Invisible Swordsman....You're supposed to fire UP! WE both fired UP! Like living with a six year-old")
  • Lucky's arm wound from gunshot, when he asked to inspect the gun: "Wait a second. Let me see that. Come on, come on. Oh, great! Real bullets. I'll keep this. You're in a lot of trouble, mister"
  • and the funny exchange between El Guapo and his right-hand Lieutenant Jefe (Tony Plana) about the meaning of the word "plethora" (El Guapo: "Would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?...A plethora...Jefe, what is a plethora?...You told me I have a plethora. And I just would like to know if you know what a plethora is. I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and find out that that person has NO IDEA what it means to have a plethora!"), and the subsequent discussion about taking a woman: (El Guapo: "Jefe, you do not understand women. You cannot force open the petals of a flower. When the flower is ready, it opens itself up to you"; Jefe: "When do you think Carmen will open up her flower to you?"; El Guapo: "Tonight, or I will kill her!")
    and Dusty's bungling attempt to fit in with the grungy bandits while in disguise, telling a drunken El Guapo how they "raped the horses," "rode off on the women," and "pruned the hedges of many small villages" (El Guapo: "Who the hell are you?!")
  • also Lucky Day's inspiring speech to the townsfolk about conquering one's own individual "El Guapo": "In a way, all of us have an El Guapo to face some day. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous guy who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be the actual El Guapo!"
  • also the conclusion in which Dusty (who was left without kisses) was puzzled when a beautiful Hot Senorita (Playboy centerfold Rebecca Underwood/Ferratti, Miss June, 1986) kissed Ned goodbye

Tit For Tat (1935)

  • in Laurel and Hardy's slapstick, Academy Award-nominated comedic short - a direct sequel to their film Them Thar Hills (1934), the set-up: two side-by-side stores - Stan and Oliver's newly-opened electrical supply store ("Open for Big Business"), next to Mr. Hall's (Charlie Hall) grocery store
  • an accident while screwing in light bulbs in his electrical store's marquee sign left Oliver stranded on the grocery store's 2nd story outdoor window ledge (as he sarcastically told Stan: "I'm waiting for a streetcar!"); Oliver was forced to enter the window of the apartment above the store, with Mrs. Hall's (Mae Busch) permission; as he descended the stairs and entered the main floor, grocer Mr. Hall overheard Oliver's risque line to his wife: ("I've never been in a position like that before!") - causing Mr. Hall to assume sexual shenanigans and accuse Oliver of fooling around with her
  • the sequence of mutual property destruction ("tit for tat" - although Stan misinterpreted the phrase as "Tip me hat") between the disgruntled proprietors, as Stan and Oliver repeatedly hung a "Will Be Back Soon" sign on their door as they proceeded next-door to wreak havoc, and vice-versa: (1) a hot electrical device pinched Oliver's nose; (2) a faceful of white stickey goo was shot into Mr. Hall's face; (3) Hall destroyed about six watches from a circular store display by grinding them up in a blender; after calmly watching the damage, Stan picked up a spinning wheel (one of the damaged watch parts) and put it into his overalls pocket; (4) honey was poured into Mr. Hall's cash register; (5) the top of Ollie's hat was severed by a deli slicer; (6) a bucket of pure lard was dumped over Hall's head; (7) Stan and Oliver ate marshmallows from a bin spiked with alum; (8) Hall's rampaging in the electrical store - he destroyed all of the overhead light fixtures, and broke the front window; (9) both Stan and Ollie were hit with a faceful of sticky goo; (10) Hall was placed bottom-first into a crate of eggs, while another crate of eggs was poured over his head
  • meanwhile, there was the running gag of a shoplifting-customer (Bobby Dunn) repeatedly entering and stealing items from the electrical store as the pair left each time, culminating with the backing up of a moving truck to completely empty the store during the many reprisals
  • the final gag: a policeman non-chalantly grabbed one of the marshmallows (covered with alum) and suffered the consequences

To Be or Not to Be (1942)

  • a WWII screwball romantic (and black) comedy set in Nazi-occupied Warsaw, among a troupe of Polish thespians led by egocentric, vain and ham actor Joseph Tura (Jack Benny)
  • the delivery of Tura's famous "To be or not to be" Hamlet soliloquy, triggering the exit of Polish audience member/fighter pilot Lt. Stanislav Sobinski (Robert Stack) from his seat in the second row to innocently rendezvous backstage with Tura's flirtatious wife and glamorous leading lady actress Maria (Carole Lombard in her last screen performance) in her dressing room
  • the scene of Maria telling her husband Joseph off after he called her a prima donna: ("Whenever there's a chance to take the spotlight away from me, it's becoming ridiculous the way you grab attention. Whenever I start to tell a story, you finish it. If I go on a diet, you lose the weight. If I have a cold, you cough. And if we should ever have a baby, I'm not so sure I'd be the mother"); Joseph responded: "I'm satisfied to be the father"
  • and the scenes of Joseph impersonating both the Polish traitor/Nazi spy Professor Siletsky (Stanley Ridges) and buffoonish Nazi officer Col. Ehrhardt (Sig Ruman)
  • the oft-repeated line of Gestapo chief Col. Ehrhardt: ("So they call me 'Concentration Camp' Ehrhardt, eh?!")
  • and one of the film's funniest lines about Tura's acting talent, spoken by Nazi officer Ehrhardt: "What he did to Shakespeare we are doing now to Poland"
  • the lampooning of mustached Hitler by Polish actor Bronski (Tom Dugan), who saluted to himself: "Heil myself!"

To Be or Not to Be (1983)

  • the scene of Sasha Kinski (James Haake) hiding in the chorus line during the number Ladies, and then revealing himself to a surprised Dr. Frederick Bronski (Mel Brooks) when he sang: "She's a princess, no, no, she's a queen!"
  • and the scene of Bronski entering a shocked English pub dressed as Hitler, where he asked: "Excuse me, is this England?"
  • the musical title song-number mocking Hitler called To Be or Not to Be (aka The Hitler Rap)

Tom Jones (1963, UK)

  • the famous seductive food-orgy, dining sequence - a multi-course dinner meal (of soup, drafts of ale, turkey, oysters, pears, and wine) with erotically sexual overtones: boyish rogue Tom Jones (Albert Finney) and a lusty Jenny Jones/Mrs. Waters (Joyce Redman) slurped, sucked, and tore into their food with gleeful and pleasurable abandon
  • also the inventive and novel camera techniques (the pre-credits silent film opening, sped-up sequences, freeze-frames, screen wipes, actors making asides to the audience, etc.)
  • the narrator's comically-mock solemnity (i.e., "Heroes, whatever high ideas we may have of them, are mortal and not divine. We are all as God made us, and many of us much worse")

Tommy Boy (1995)

  • the character of dim-witted, socially-immature, loud-mouthed, slobbish idiot child Thomas R. "Tommy" Callahan III (Chris Farley) in the slapstick, low-brow comedy; after seven years in college, he was thrilled with a D+ grade on his History Final Exam at Marquette University: "Oh my God, I passed...I got a D+! I'm gonna graduate! Give me five!"
  • Tommy's martial-arts approach to attacking a moving line of giant yellow steel hooks - and getting hit in the head
  • the scene of Tommy backing up at a gas station to be closer to the pump, and mistakenly crashing the driver's side door into a pole - and then blaming it on his partner-assistant Richard Hayden (fellow SNL cast member David Spade) when he opened the door and it collapsed to the ground ("What'd you do?")
  • the cross-country sales trip of the two mismatched salesmen, when Tommy Boy re-enacted a car crash (with expensive model cars) to a car executive, in a horrible sales pitch demonstration on the man's desk - to sell brake pads from his inherited company: ("'Oh my God, we're burnin' alive!' 'No! I can't feel my legs!' Here comes the meat wagon. (He imitated a siren sound) And the medic gets out and says: 'Oh, my God!' New guy's in the corner pukin' his guts out. (He imitated a puking sound) All because you want to save a couple extra pennies. Ha, ha. And to me, it doesn't...")
  • the whole deer-accident incident
  • Tommy's manic description to waitress Helen (Maria Vacratsis), after he had been denied food, about how he blew a sale: ("Let me tell you why I suck as a salesman. Let's say I go into some guy's office, and let's say he's even remotely interested in buyin' something. Well, then I get all excited. I'm like JoJo, the Indian circus boy, with a pretty new pet. (He picked up a dinner roll) The pet is my possible sale. Oh my pretty little pet, I love you. So I stroke it, and I pet it, and I massage it. Hehe, I love it, I love my little naughty pet. (He playfully poked the roll) You're naughty! And then I take my naughty pet and I go... (He tore the dinner roll in two) Uuuuuuh! I killed it! I killed my sale! And that's when I blow it. That's when people like us have gotta forge ahead, Helen. Am I right?") - she called him "sick"
  • Tommy's crazed dancing and singing of "Maniac" - imitating Jennifer Beals in Flashdance (1983), while being showered off with a gasoline nozzle by Paul Barish (Rob Lowe), who asked: "Did you eat a lot of paint chips when you were a kid?"
  • the scene on an airplane, when Tommy Boy and Richard pretended to be flight attendants on a flight to Chicago
  • the many hilarious one-liners: "Fat guy in a little coat. Fat guy in a little coat..." (as he spun around, leaned over, and ripped the coat in half up the seam), and Tommy Boy's "happy time" practicing of the famed (and misquoted) Star Wars line in front of a fan - for the proper effect: "La-la-la-loo-loo... Luuuke... Luuuke! I am your fah-ther! La-la-lay-lu...", and Richard's observation while watching Tommy Boy eat french fries followed by ketchup squirted from a packet into his mouth: "Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter"

Tootsie (1982)

  • a popular, gender-bending comedy scene of obnoxious and unemployed actor Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman) with agent George Fields (Sydney Pollack) who insisted no one would hire him: ("Nobody in Hollywood wants to work with you either. I can't even set you up for a commercial. You played a tomato for 30 seconds - they went a half a day over schedule because you wouldn't sit down..YOU WERE A TOMATO. A tomato doesn't have logic. A tomato can't move")
  • the first entrance or appearance of Michael dressed in drag as 'Dorothy Michaels' on a crowded street (seen in extreme telephoto) before auditioning and being cast on the daytime soap opera Southwest General
  • the scene of 'Dorothy's' screen test when producer Rita (Doris Belack) asked: "I'd like to make her look a little more attractive, how far can you pull back?" and the cameraman responded: "How do you feel about Cleveland?"
  • the dining scene of 'Dorothy' coming onto his unsuspecting, confounded and dismayed agent George Fields at the Russian Tea Room and then revealing himself as Michael: "It's Michael Dorsey"
  • the scene of Michael when caught by insecure casual girlfriend Sandy Lester (Teri Garr) dressed in nothing but his skimpy black briefs when he attempted to try on her clothes, and then pretended he wanted to have sex with her ("Sandy... I want you"), although she might have thought he was a transvestite
  • Dorothy's yelling with a man's voice at a cab: "TAXI!"
  • the scene of soap actress April Page (Geena Davis in her film debut) startling Dorothy by wearing nothing but skimpy underwear
  • also 'Dorothy's' many ad-libbed edits to the soap opera script, like hitting leading man co-star John Van Horn (George Gaynes), dubbed "the tongue", over the head with folders to prevent him from landing a kiss
  • later, in a classic moment, Dorothy made a funny Freudian slip and told April: "What kind of mother would I be if I didn't give my girls tits... tips?"
  • Michael's continuing marvelous impersonation of the no-nonsense, alter-ego female hospital administrator Dorothy Michaels on the soap opera, when she retorted to the show's amoral and sexist director Ron Carlysle (Dabney Coleman): "Ron? I have a name it's Dorothy. It's not Tootsie or Toots or Sweetie or Honey or Doll....No, just Dorothy. Alan's always Alan, Tom's always Tom and John's always John. I have a name too. It's Dorothy, capital D-O-R-O-T-H-Y"
  • and the character of Les (Charles Durning in an against-type role) - the lonely widower father of beautiful co-worker and soap star Julie Nichols (Jessica Lange), who fell in love with Dorothy, and spoke about his view of the sexes: "You know, I can remember years ago there was none of this talk about what a woman was, what a man was. You just were what you were. And now they have all this stuff about how much you should be like the other sex, so you can all be more the same. Well, I'm sorry, but we're just not, you know?...Not on a farm, anyway. Bulls are bulls, and roosters don't try to lay eggs....You know, my wife and I, we were married a lot of years. People got it all wrong, you know. They say your health is the most important thing. But I can lift this house off the ground. What good is it? Being with someone. Sharing. That's what it's all about."
  • the near-'lesbian' kiss between Julie and Dorothy
  • and his droll playwright roommate Jeff's (Bill Murray) many one-liners: (ie. "You slut!")
  • Sandy's outburst to Michael when he revealed he loved someone else: "I never said I love you, I don't care about I love you! I read The Second Sex, I read The Cinderella Complex, I'm responsible for my own orgasm, I don't care! I just don't like to be lied to!"
  • the final, live-taped TV episode performance when Michael revealed his true identity by tearing off his wig and eyelashes to prove it - to the stunned shock of almost everyone; in his revealing speech in the stunning scene, Michael began by admitting that he wasn't the daughter named Emily Kimberly on the 'soap opera' - but her brother Edward Kimberly: "...It was this brother who, on the day of her death, swore to the good Lord above that he would follow in her footsteps, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just owe it all up to her. But on her terms. As a woman. And just as proud to be a woman as she ever was. For I am not Emily Kimberly, the daughter of Dwayne and Alma Kimberly. No, I'm not. (in a deep voice) I'm Edward Kimberly, the recluse brother of my sister Anthea. Edward Kimberly, who has finally vindicated his sister's good name. I am Edward Kimberly. Edward Kimberly. And I'm not mentally ill, but proud and lucky, and strong enough to be the woman that was the best part of my manhood. The best part of myself" - (including Jeff's comment at the end: "That's one nutty hospital")
  • his final confession to Julie on the streets of NYC: ("I was a better man with you, as a woman, than I ever was with a woman as a man")

Toy Story (1995)

  • the bedroom setting of a 6 year-old boy named Andy Davis (voice of John Morris) where toys came to life when humans weren't there, including all the old favorites: Mr. Potato Head (voice of Don Rickles), Slinky Dog (voice of Jim Varney), Hamm the Piggy Bank (voice of John Ratzenberger), the cowardly Rex the Dinosaur (voice of Wallace Shawn), and Shepherdess Bo Peep (voice of Annie Potts)
  • Mr. Potato Head's joke to Hamm after rearranging his face: "Hey, Hamm, look, I'm Picasso...You uncultured swine. What're you lookin' at, ya hockey puck?"
  • the instant jealousy and dislike that once-favored, pull-string cowboy toy Woody (voice of Tom Hanks) had for a neophyte toy - the egotistical space-suited action figure Buzz Lightyear (voice of Tim Allen), introduced on Andy's birthday: ("The word I am searching for, I can't say because there's pre-school toys present")
  • also the scene of Buzz Lightyear, heartbroken and delirious over finding out that he was only a toy, who drunkenly insisted: "You see the hat? I am Mrs. Nesbit!" while wearing a flowered hat on his head and laughing maniacally
  • Woody and Buzz's use of a rocket to catch up to the Davis' moving van, when Woody again commented on Buzz' flying skill when they soared into the air: Woody: "Hey, Buzz! You're flying!" Buzz: "This isn't flying, this is falling - with style!" Woody: "To Infinity and Beyond!"

Toy Story 2 (1999)

  • the parody scene spoofing The Empire Strikes Back (1980) in which a 'new' Buzz Lightyear (voice of Tim Allen) was confronted in an elevator shaft and told by his Darth Vader-like arch-nemesis Emperor Zurg (voice of Andrew Stanton): "I am your father"
  • Buzz's anguished scream: "Nooooo!" - all revealed to be in a video game that dinosaur Rex (voice of Wallace Shawn) was playing
  • and later, the 'new' Buzz happily told the 'real' Buzz he was going to play catch with "Dad"

Trading Places (1983)

  • the scene of wily, unemployed, poor street con Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) confronted by two policemen for panhandling as a blind, crippled Vietnam War veteran ("We've had some complaints about con men pretending to be blind and uh, crippled") - Billy Ray attempted to fool them: "I ain't seen nothing since I stepped on that landmine in Viet Cong back in 72. It was rough, very painful....I was in Sang Bang, Dang Gong. I was all over the place, baby, a lot of places, a lot of places.... I was with the Green Berets, Special Unit Battalions, Commando Airborne Tactics, Specialist Tactics Unit Battalion. Yeah, it was real hush hush. I was Agent Orange...Special Agent Orange, that was me"; when they picked him up, they realized he was faking, and he exclaimed: "I can see! I can see! I have, I have legs. I have - Oh s--t, look at this. Legs! I can walk. Jesus, praise Jesus. I appreciate this. Oh, this is beautiful. I can't believe. Thank you. I don't know what to do it's. Glory be to God. Praise Jesus"
  • the "fish-out-of-water" and 'nature vs. nurture' social experiment (a bet between two millionaire brothers: Randolph Duke (Ralph Bellamy) and Mortimer Duke (Don Ameche) that switched the lives of Billy Ray Valentine with that of privileged, aristocratic, snobbish, uptight banker/investment broker Louis Winthorpe III (Dan Aykroyd)
  • the scene of the release of Louis from a Philadelphia jail, where his ashamed girlfriend Penelope Witherspoon (Kristin Holby) was upset by his smell and looks, and because he had been charged with embezzlement and dealing drugs ("angel dust, PCP") - framed by the Dukes to lose his job; Penelope was distraught: "Stealing from your friends at the club, Louis? Heroin, Louis? Have you lost your mind?...How could the man I loved, whose children I wanted to have and breast-feed, be a heroin dealer?" - he tried to explain: "They beat me up and stole my clothes. Those men wanted to have sex with me....They tried to bend me over this. I mean, if this place is indicative of the state of correctional institutions in this country, they might as well let all the convicts out. It's far worse on the inside" - and then hooker Ophelia (Jamie Lee Curtis) came up and kissed him: ("I've been looking everywhere for you, baby. Louis, I'm hurting, baby. I just need a shot....Come on baby, just a dime bag. I'll do all those things you like")
  • the sexy scene of hooker with-a-heart-of-gold Ophelia undressing in front of her mirror and being watched by Louis who she had taken in; topless, she covered her breasts and told him: "By the way, food and rent aren't the only things around here that cost money. You sleep on the couch"
  • the scene of Billy explaining to the Duke Brothers the street-smart reason for the decline of 'pork belly' prices during the Christmas holidays: "It's Christmas time. Everybody's uptight...Pork belly prices have been droppin' all morning. Which means everybody's sittin' in the office and they're waitin' for them to hit rock bottom so they can buy cheap and go long. So the people that own the pork belly contracts are goin' bat-s--t, sittin' there sayin', 'Hey, we're losing all our damn money and Christmas is around the corner, and I ain't gonna have no money to buy my son the GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip. OK? And my wife ain't gonna want to f--- - my wife ain't gonna make love to me 'cause I ain't got no money, right?' So they're sittin' there and they're panickin' and they're screamin', 'Sell, sell.' because they don't want to lose all their money, right. They're out there panickin' right now. I can feel it"
  • the pawn shop scene when the owner refused to buy Louis' Swiss sports watch: "Man, that watch is so hot, it's smokin'!" Louis attempted to persuade the shop owner of its value: "This is a Rochefoucauld, the thinnest water-resistant watch in the world. Singularly unique, sculptured in design, hand-crafted in Switzerland and water-resistant to three atmospheres. This is the sports watch of the '80s. $6,955 retail....Look, it tells time simultaneously in Monte Carlo, Beverly Hills, London, Paris, Rome and Gstaad" - but the owner refused: "In Philadelphia, it's worth only $50 bucks"
  • the restaurant scene when Billy enjoyed an expensive meal, while Louis stood in the rain outside and watched, as one of the guests told a joke about "S-car-go"
  • the attempt by Louis - dressed in a Santa Claus outfit - to frame Billy at the company holiday party by planting drugs in his desk drawer: ("I'm making a citizen's arrest. This man is a drug dealer. Look, look, here in his office drawer, he's got all the bad drugs here. Marijuana joints, pills, Quaaludes, Valium, yellow ones, red ones, cocaine grinder, drug needles. He's the pusher, not me") - and then he rushed through the party, intimidating all the guests by brandishing a gun
  • the bathroom scene of the Dukes discussing the success of their 'wagered' experiment in the men's bathroom (overheard by Billy Ray), and the loser - Mortimer - paid off "the usual amount" of one dollar, with a plan to soon return Billy to the streets: ("We took a perfectly useless psychopath, like Valentine, and turned him into a successful executive. And during the same time, we turned an honest, hard-working man into a violently deranged, would-be killer")
  • the hysterical New Years' Eve Philadelphia-bound train sequence in which Billy Ray and Louis, along with Louis' loyal butler Coleman (Denholm Elliott) and Ophelia ("I am Inga from Sweden") donned disguises to steal industrial spy Clarence Beeks' (Paul Gleason) valise in the train compartment and replace it with a fake - it contained an orange produce report (to help the two corner the stock market on frozen orange juice concentrate); Ophelia leaned toward Clarence with her cleavage in his face and tantalizingly asked: "Please to help me with my rucksack?"
  • and the concluding scene of the ruination of the financial futures of the Duke Brothers on the commodities trading floor - with a debt owed of $394 million - Randolph collapsed holding his chest ("We're ruined!") as Mortimer shouted angrily, while ignoring his ailing brother: "This is an outrage. I demand an investigation. You can't sell our seats. A Duke has been sitting on this exchange since it was founded. We founded this exchange. It's ours. It belongs to us...I want trading reopened right now. Get those brokers back in here. Turn those machines back on"; as Randolph was wheeled away on a stretcher, Mortimer chided him: "You and your Nobel Prize, you idiot"
  • the sight of Beeks in a gorilla outfit on an Africa-bound ship, being nuzzled in a cage by a real male gorilla ("They're in love")

Trainwreck (2015)

  • in an attempt to prove her love, Amy (Amy Schumer) showed off to prospective boyfriend Aaron (Bill Hader) her dance moves, almostly completely out-of-synch with her dance-mates; afterwards, she admitted: "I'm sweating more than I'm proud of"; then when she tried to sink a basket while in mid-air propelled from a trampoline, she fell flat on her face

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)

  • the scene of grizzly prospector Howard's (a scene-stealing Walter Huston) famous gleeful jig upon finding gold "up there!"

Tropic Thunder (2008)

  • a satirical action comedy (a film within a film) designed to skewer Hollywood film-making and actors in general -- about a cast of self-absorbed, inept amateur actors who were in a tropical jungle in the midst of filming an epic Vietnam War film based on the memoirs (and screenplay) of fictional, burnt-out veteran Four Leaf (Nick Nolte) - it was to be a Platoon-styled war movie titled Tropic Thunder
  • the opening trailer for the Klumps-like movie series (similar to Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor series) titled The Fatties Fart 2, promoting actor Jeff Portnoy (Jack Black), a comic and heroin-addict who demonstrated fart humor with many different obese disguises and poses of flatulence
  • the difficulty involved in shooting the scene of the severe hand-grenade injury of Rambo-like Scorcher superstar Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller) (as John "Four Leaf" Tayback) and his emotional conversation with fellow Australian actor Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey, Jr.) with his skin dyed black (as Sgt. Lincoln Osiris): "Why does man got to pick up sticks against another man? Instead of using them sticks to prop a man up? ...Hold my hands, 'cause I got something to, I got something to say...You holding 'em?...When we get back to the world, we gonna put together that three-piece combo band we talked about?...Johnny on drums. And me tickling the ivories. I ain't never been worth a nothin' in this life, but I want you to know somethin'....You are my... You are my brother. You are my brother. You are my... You are my..."
  • the film's famous lines by Lazarus: "I know who I am! I'm a dude playin' a dude disguised as another dude!", and his controversial lines about going overboard playing 'retarded' and not winning an Oscar - to advise Tugg when they were discussing acting in length: "Everybody knows you never go full retard...Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, Rain Man, looked retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Count toothpicks, cheat at cards. Autistic, sure. Not retarded. Then you got Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump. Slow, yes, retarded, maybe, braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon, and he won a Ping-Pong competition. That ain't retarded. And he was a goddamn war hero. You know any retarded war heroes? You went full retard, man. Never go full retard. You don't buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, I Am Sam. Remember? Went full retard? Went home empty-handed"
  • the conversation between Lazarus and embittered, closeted gay rapper Alpa Chino (Brandon T. Jackson) when they hugged and embraced after Alpa Chino insulted Lazarus: "I'm sick of this koala-huntin' nigga tellin' me"; Lazarus replied: "For four hundred years, that word has kept us down...Took a whole lotta tryin' just to get up that hill. Now we're up in the big leagues, gettin' our turn at bat. As long as we live, it's you and me, baby..."; Alpa Chino responded: "That's the theme song for The Jeffersons. Man, you really need help"
  • the girly phone ring-tone of Rick "Pecker" Peck (Matthew McConaughey), Tugg's Hollywood agent -- Dan Hill's Sometimes When We Touch and his conversation with Tugg about his contract demands for a TiVo, while browing through a picture book of women with big breasts: "Hey, they hook up the TiVo yet? Good gosh...The TiVo, they hook it up?...The guy didn't come. What? For f--k's sake, that is unacceptable.... No, no, no. Come on, man. It's not okay. It is not okay, Tugg! And you don't need to explain to me why you need TiVo or clean water, clean sheets, food, shelter. I mean, I fought for that in your contract, huh?....Tell you what, get back to work, genius soldier. The Pecker's on a TiVo mission for the Y-O-U...Say it for me one time. You make me happy"
  • the character of balding, foul-mouthed, bearded, glasses-wearing, disagreeable, chubby, megalomaniacal, middle-aged film executive Les Grossman (Tom Cruise in a fat suit with a bald cap, in an uncredited cameo), who in response to a phone call from a blackmailing Vietnamese drug group-gang known as The Flaming Dragon, gave an expletive rant against the terrorist group: "First, take a big step back - and literally F--K YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of pan-pacific bulls--t power play you're tryin' to pull here, but Asia, Jack, is my territory. So whatever you're thinkin', you'd better think again! Otherwise, I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an un-godly f--kin' firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the f--king United Nations and get a f--king binding resolution to keep me from f--king destroying you. I am talking scorched earth, motherf--ker! I will massacre you! I WILL F--K YOU UP!"
  • Grossman suggested an alternative to the $100 million ransom demand in exchange for Tugg: "Instead of 100 million, how about I send you a hobo's dick cheese?"; he refused to negotiate with the terrorists and pay their ransom, and instead suggested collecting on Tugg's insurance: "Then you kill him! Do your thing! Skin the f--kin' bastard! Go to town, man! Go to town! In the meantime, and as usual, go f--k yourself!"; he then told his associates that if Tugg Speedman was killed: "We'll weep for him, in the press. Set up a scholarship in his name. Eventually, and I'm talkin' way, way down the road, we file an insurance claim....Let's face it. The kids aren't dressing up as Scorcher for Purim anymore. Speedman is a dying star, a white dwarf heading for a black hole. That's physics. It's inevitable...The universe is talking to us right now. You just gotta listen"
  • Grossman's dance in his office to Flo Rida's Low, as he offered Peck bribes in the form of a Gulfstream V jet and money: "See, this is the good part, Pecker. This is when the job gets fun....Ask and you shall receive...You play ball, we play ball. I know you want the goodies...You paying attention? 'Cause I'm talking G5 for the Pecker. That's how you're gonna roll. No more frequent flier bitch miles for my boy. Oh Yeah! Playa. Playa! Big dick playa...Big dick, baby...Or you can grow a conscience in the next five minutes and see where that takes ya"
  • the ending credits dance sequence, when Grossman performed one very memorable hip-hop dance; it was a bump-and-grind dance, including his air-spanking of himself while dirty-dancing to the tune of Ludacris' gangsta rap song Get Back, littered with obscene lyrics

Trouble in Paradise (1932)

  • the exquisitely produced/directed Ernst Lubitsch film, a sophisticated, witty, comedy farce - about a pair of sophisticated, unmarried Parisian thieves: gentleman thief Gaston (Herbert Marshall) and pickpocket Lily (Miriam Hopkins)
  • in the opening scene, the couple shared a romantic and erotic dinner, in which sex and success in robbery were equated; the pair's polite and quick-witted, but seductive game/duel of dinner-table pickpocketing and mutual theft stretched on further, as they declared their love for each other while returning precious purloined objects
  • the erotic attraction between the two criminal soul-mates heated up considerably - and led them to recline on the couch where he professed his love: "I love you. I loved you the moment I saw you. I'm mad about you - my little shoplifter. My sweet little pickpocket, my darling."
  • the scene's ending with a slow dissolve, when the couple magically vanished and disappeared, leaving an empty sofa in the twilight; the room's light was switched off, and a sign was hung on the door: "Do Not Disturb"
  • the two worked together to fleece widow Mme. Mariette Colet (Kay Francis) of her fortune (of 850,000 francs) from her Colet Perfume Company, by posing as her secretary (as Monsieur LaValle) and Lily posing as his assistant; however, things didn't go as planned, as Gaston/LaValle fell in love with Mariette and a love triangle developed, and Gaston was recognized by a former victim
  • in a dramatic confrontation in front of Mme. Colet's safe, Lily challenged and insulted Gaston for his calculated romantic fraud and infidelity: "What has she got that I haven't got?...Shut up! Don't make up any stories!...Don't you dare lie to me! I know you love me. Oh, why don't you say something? Come on - be brilliant! Talk yourself out of it - bluff yourself in!...Shut up, you liar, you!"

True Stories (1986)

  • the unconventional film, strangely narrated by an unnamed, cowboy-hat-wearing stranger (David Byrne), while driving around the fictional town of Virgil, Texas in a Chrysler LeBaron convertible, that was about to celebrate its 150th anniversary - sesquicentennial: ("Look at this. Who can say it isn't beautiful? Sky, bricks. Who do you think lives there? Four-car garage. Hope, fear, excitement, satisfaction")
  • the wildly ostentatious clothes being modeled at the shopping mall's strange and outlandish fashion show ("A Bonanza of Beauty") (a group of four wore yellow rainslickers, while two others modeled outfits made from grass, and some others were patterned in either wood-grain or brick); one of the top-heavy costumes caused a model to topple off the stage
  • self-effacing lonely bachelor and clean-room technician Louis Fyne's (John Goodman) desperate search via TV for a woman to marry - and his disastrous restaurant date with The Lying Woman (Jo Harvey Allen) (who claimed that she was the reason why JFK was assassinated, that she was the author of "Billie Jean," and that her psychic powers were due to being born with a tail, among other outrageous assertions)
  • the Culver's dinner scene, when Earl (Spalding Gray) began to arrange the food on the table to make a map (seen from a top view): ("Mainframe! Micro-processor! Semi-conductor!...Now, if this is the town and here is the workplace, with its goods and distribution network. Now, most middle-class people have worked for large corporations, like VeriCorp, or for the government itself. But now, all that's starting to change. Scientists and engineers are moving off from those large corporations like VeriCorp, and they're beginning to start their own companies, marketing new inventions....A-ha! It all spins back to the middle! Here we are right here, in Virgil. Our way of doing business has been based on the past! That's why we have to keep these guys in Virgil, even though they do leave VeriCorp. For the time being, it's created confusion and chaos! They don't work for money anymore, but to earn a place in Heaven, which is a big motivating factor once upon a time, believe you me. They're working and inventing because they like it! Economics is become a spiritual thing. I must admit it frightens me a bit; they don't seem to see the difference between working, and not working. It's all become a part of one's life. Larry! Linda! There's no concept of weekends anymore!")

Twentieth Century (1934)

  • John Barrymore's self-parodying, blustery, brooding, jealous, and hammy tour-de-force role as Oscar 'O.J.' Jaffe, a slick, egomaniacal and temperamental Broadway director/producer - and his famous recurring line: "I close the iron door on you"
  • and the many attempts by Jaffe to get showgirl Mildred Plotka - newly-named and temperamental stage actress Lily Garland (Carole Lombard) to sign a theatre contract with him while both were riding the 20th Century Limited cross-country passenger train, finally succeeding by pretending to be dying of a heart attack

21 Jump Street (2012)

  • the trippy drug sequence with sight-gags (of the four stages of drug use) experienced by nerdy Morton Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and jock Greg Jenko (Channing Tatum) - ex-classmates who were assigned as undercover agents in their old school, Sagan HS, to investigate a drug ring; after the two had taken a synthetic drug known as HFS (Holy F--king S--t) when forced to (and to avoid being found out), they experienced Giggles (seen as Phase 01) and then Trippiness (Phase 02) while talking to their P E teacher, Mr. Walters (Rob Riggle) - whose head resembled a Dairy Queen soft ice cream cone
  • the two continued to experience delusions and have major drug-related problems, in the classroom, during an audition for Peter Pan and band practice, and while practicing relay running (and baton passing) during track, with three more drug stages: Over-Falsity of Confidence (Phase 03), F--k Yeah Motherf--ker (Phase 04), and finally Asleepyness (Phase 05)

Twister (1996)

  • the sight of a cow being hurled through the air in the spectacular computer-generated special-effects within the film about thrill-seeking storm chasers

Greatest Funniest Movie Moments and Scenes
(alphabetical order, by film title)
Intro | A1 | A2 | B1 | B2 | C1 | C2 | D1 | D2 | E | F | G | H-I | J-K-L
M1 | M2 | N-O | P1 | P2 | Q-R | S1 | S2 | T | U-V-W-X-Y-Z

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