Classic Comedies:

Funniest Movie
Moments and Scenes


B (continued)
Title Screen
Movie Title/Year and Scene Descriptions

Blazing Saddles (1974)

  • Mel Brooks' iconoclastic, non-politically-correct western spoof - one of the funniest, most successful and most popular films, with non-stop jokes and slapstick, was an unsubtle spoof, lampooning or parodying all the cliches from the time-honored genre of westerns and cowboys, with much political incorrectness, vulgarity, offensiveness and political satire
  • in the early scene of a town meeting in Rock Ridge's white homogenous church, Reverend Johnson asked whether the townsfolk should stay or leave the lawless town: ("Well, I don't have to tell you good folks what has been happening here in our beloved town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded and cattle raped! Now the time has come to act. And act fast! I'm leaving")
  • he was interrupted by a grizzly mountaineer named Gabby Johnson (Jack Starrett), who argued unintelligibly in a speech composed of "frontier gibberish" about remaining steadfastly in town: ("You get back here, you old pious, candy-ass sidewinder! There ain't no way that nobody is gonna leave this town! Hell, I was born here, and I was raised here and dadgum it, I'm gonna die here! And no sidewinder, bushwhacking, hornswoggling, cracker croaker, is gonna ruin me biscuit-cutter!")
  • the group decided to petition the Governor to send the town a new Sheriff - because every Sheriff appointed by the townspeople has been murdered
  • the near-sighted and dim-witted Governor Le Petomane (Mel Brooks) was being advised at the same time by his own villainous and scheming Attorney General Hedley Lamarr (Harvey Korman) to take over 200,000 acres of Indian land in exchange for a box of paddle-board toys, and to convert a hospital (for the insane) into a gambling casino (for the insane)
  • the Governor first appeared (in his underwear), nuzzling into bosomy secretary Miss Stein's (Robyn Hilton) cleavage while addressing her full breasts: "Hello boys. Have a good night's rest? I missed you"
  • a new scheme was developed by the Governor and his AG - a cheap land grab of the town of Rock Ridge where a railroad route was about to be constructed. The AG turned the idea of a law-and-order sheriff into his own advantage, to panic the citizens so that they would cheaply sell out their land to him. Their plot was to take over the town of Rock Ridge (in the path of the railroad) by scaring off the townsfolk and replacing them with their own thugs, led by villainous Taggart (Slim Pickens)
  • as part of their scheme, pardoned black railroad worker Bart (Cleavon Little) was to be appointed as the new Sheriff. The assumption was that the bigoted townsfolk would immediately leave town once they saw the black Sheriff - thereby leaving the town vulnerable to take-over
  • the naive new Sheriff Black Bart (in a gaudy but fashionable cowboy outfit) rode into Rock Ridge to be greeted by a welcoming ceremony - during his acceptance speech, he warned the townsfolk as he reached down into the front of his pants: "Excuse me while I whip this out" - to the sound of their gaspings; when the townspeople soon realized that he was a "ni-," they threatened to shoot him. To divert the mob, hold them at bay and escape, Bart held a gun to his own neck, shouting: "Hold it. The next man makes a move, the n----r gets it...Drop it!"
  • drunken former gunslinger The 'Waco Kid' (Gene Wilder), in jail in town, met the new Sheriff; the Waco Kid explained his past history to Black Bart: "Oh, well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word 'draw' in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street, and I heard a voice behind me say, 'Reach for it, Mister!' And I spun around and there I was, face to face with a six-year-old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away - little bastard shot me in the ass! So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and, I've been there ever since"; soon the two would be allied together to save the town
  • in the film's most notorious, vulgar and well-remembered scene, gassed-up, wind-breaking, flatulent cowboys from Taggart's crew sat around the night's campfire eating beans - burping and farting incessantly - bathroom humor at its finest. When Taggart was asked: "How about some more beans, Mr. Taggart?", he replied with exasperation: "I'd say you've had enough!" -- play clip (excerpt): Blazing Saddles
  • Taggart was pleased that the dreaded, simple-minded brutish Mongo (ex-football player Alex Karras) was proposed as the one to kill the new black sheriff; the thuggish Mongo entered Rock Ridge riding an ox to threaten the town, then later punched out a horse with a bare, single-fisted punch, but was ineffective against Black Bart
Unique Western Characters
The Waco Kid (Gene Wilder) and Black Bart (Cleavon Little)
Taggart (Slim Pickens) and AG Hedley Lamarr (Harvey Korman)
Mongo (Alex Karras)
  • Rock Ridge's saloon singer Lili Von Shtupp (Madeline Kahn) delivered an exquisite parody of Marlene Dietrich's "Frenchy" from Destry Rides Again (1939), when on stage; she performed an off-key version of I'm Tired, parodying Marlene Dietrich's Falling in Love Again with a world-weary Germanic, monotoned accent and a lisp; in the lyrics, she asked one of the drooling cowboys: "Hello, handsome, is that a ten-gallon hat - or are you just enjoying the show?" (a variation of one of Mae West's most infamous pronouncements)
  • after Lili's performance, Lamarr schemed with her to seduce sheriff Black Bart (and then break his heart) with a parody of Jean Harlow in Hell's Angels (1930): ("Won't you excuse me for a moment while I slip into something a little bit more comfortable?"); after the lights were turned out in a back room of the saloon with Bart, she asked him if black men were "gifted," and went to investigate his physical endowments in the dark - she was memorably impressed: "Tell me, schatzie [affectionate German nickname meaning sweetheart, little treasure or little dear one], is it twue what they say about the way you people are gifted? (A loud zipper noise signaled that his fly was opened.) Oh, it's twue. It's twue. It's twue. It's twue..." - Lili was the one who turned out to be seduced
  • meanwhile, Black Bart and the Waco Kid snooped around the chain gang site where the railroad track was being laid, and they learned that the railroad tracks were going to pass directly through the town. Suddenly, it dawned on them why Lamarr was involved in his evil scheme
  • foiled again, Hedley made a request of cowpoke Taggart to find individuals to assault the town: ("I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the west. Take this down....I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, half-wits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists") - with Taggart's dumbfounded response after finding a pencil and paper: "Could you repeat that, sir?"
  • in a related scene, Hedley was reviewing the qualifications of the applicants selected to assault the town (Hedley Lamarr: "Qualifications?" Applicant: "Rape, murder, arson, and rape." Hedley Lamarr: "You said rape twice." Applicant: "I like rape."); nearby, in order to get closer to see what was happening and entice two KKK members away in order to steal their white robes and hoods, the Waco Kid held up Bart as bait from behind a large rock as he called out: "Hey, boys! Look what I've got here."; Bart also called out with a mock-dumb (racially-stereotyped) taunt: "Hey! Where are the white women at?"
  • later that evening, Bart enlisted the aid of black, chain-gang railroad workers to build an exact replica of Rock Ridge (three miles east of the real town), and to lure Taggart and his gang of men to destroy it instead of the real town; after luring Taggart's men into the town, a dynamite blast sent bodies of horses and men flying into the air; the good guys - Bart, the Kid, the townspeople, Mongo, and the chain gang laborers swooped down into the town to wipe out the bad guys with clubs and hand-to-hand combat
  • the film ended with an absurdist brawl between the two sides - when the camera pulled back to show that the film was being shot on a present-day Hollywood set in the middle of Los Angeles
  • in an adjoining soundstage on the lot, a pseudo-Busby Berkeley musical number ("The French Mistake") was being performed with an all-gay cast of men in black tuxedos and top hats, directed by effeminate choreographer Buddy Bizarre (Dom DeLuise); the choreographer criticized the dancers and demanded that they watch his own flawed demonstration: "Just watch me. It's so simple, you sissy Marys! Give me the playback! And watch me, faggots" - the chorus sang as he stumbled around: "Throw out your hands Stick out your tush Hands on your hips Give 'em a push You'll be surprised You're doing the French Mistake! Voila!"
  • the chaotic fighting from the Blazing Saddles set burst through the "fourth wall", bringing two conflicting film genres together, and degenerated into a major fight; in the studio's commissary where bikini clad actresses, a Hitler-look-alike (Ralph Manza), and others were eating, the Adolph Hitler character responded to a question about how many days he had left: "They lose me right after the bunker scene," as the place erupted into a 'great pie fight.'
  • the melee spilled out onto the streets of Burbank and included the landmark Grauman Chinese Theatre in Hollywood; Bart pursued Hedley who ran from the movie theatre and shot him in the groin; then he joined his buddy the Kid to watch the ending of movie that was playing inside -- Blazing Saddles
  • the film ended with a happy conclusion - in the screened film - as the people of the saved town of Rock Ridge said goodbye to their black sheriff; Bart bid them goodbye with an obligatory farewell speech about how he was moving on; he invited the Waco Kid to join him, and they rode out of town into the desert where they dismounted, entered an awaiting limo, and drove off 'into the sunset'

Rev. Johnson and Gabby Johnson

Gov. Le Petomane and Miss Stein

Black Bart Entering Town as New Sheriff

Black Bart: "Excuse me while I whip this out"

The Waco Kid Explaining His Past History to the New Sheriff

Bean-Eating Campfire Scene

Lili Von Shtupp (Madeline Kahn)

Lili Seduced by Black Bart

Taggart to Hedley: "Could you repeat that, sir?"

Hedley Reviewing Applicant Qualifications: "You said rape twice"

Buddy Bizarre (Dom DeLuise)

Film's Ending: The Kid and Bart Dismounting and Entering a Limousine in the Desert

The Blues Brothers (1980)

  • director John Landis' rock-filled, anarchic, musical crime-comedy featured many cameo appearances (Twiggy, Carrie Fisher, Ray Charles, John Lee Hooker, James Brown, Pee-Wee Herman, Aretha Franklin, Cab Calloway, Steve Lawrence, Steven Spielberg, and Frank Oz - of the Muppets, and more!); the idea of the "Blues Brothers" was derived from Aykroyd's and Belushi's popular SNL (NBC-TVs Saturday Night Live) sketch
  • the title characters were "blues brothers" - two white singers with soul who wore shades, and identical black suits and hats; in the opening scene, Joliet (Illinois) Prison inmate "Joliet" Jake Blues (John Belushi), a blues singer, was paroled after three years; outside the prison gate, he met up with his brother Elwood Blues (Dan Aykroyd), driving a used, battered, super-powered Plymouth police car - dubbed their Bluesmobile; Elwood described how he picked up the car at a police auction: "It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?"; Jake was unimpressed: "Fix the cigarette lighter"
  • in Elwood's apartment lobby, he announced that his brother Jake would be staying with him, and card-playing Cheez-Whiz (Layne Britton) yelled out: "Did you get me my Cheez-Whiz, boy?" to which Elwood responded by revealing a Cheez-Whiz can from his jacket and tossing it to him
  • the brothers traveled to their childhood home in Calumet City, IL, where they visited the Roman Catholic orphanage (St. Helen of the Blessed Shroud) where they were raised; they met with their former teacher and head orphanage nun Sister Mary "The Penguin" Stigmata (Kathleen Freeman); she sent them on a "mission from God" to raise $5,000 (for property taxes) to save her orphanage from foreclosure; otherwise, it would be closed by the Archbishop; she also reprimanded the two for their bad behavior: ("You are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so hard for you. It saddens and hurts me that the two young men whom I raised to believe in the Ten Commandments have returned to me as two thieves"), she struck at them with a yardstick (until it broke) for having "filthy mouths and bad attitudes" - and warned them not to come back "until you've redeemed yourselves"
  • after speaking to an old friend - the orphanage's handyman, and their father figure Curtis (Cab Calloway), they were encouraged to go to an evangelical church to redeem themselves; the brothers attended the Triple Rock Baptist Church, in the presence of Reverend Cleophus James (James Brown), who was preaching a sermon titled "The Old Landmark": "Do you see the light?...Have you seen the light?"; the two brothers had an epiphany (conversion experience), and dedicated themselves to raising the $5,000 for the orphanage after reassembling their R&B Blues Brothers Band; Elwood repeatedly spoke his famous line to Jake: ("We're on a mission from God!") to justify their brotherly activities
  • soon after, they were stopped by two Illinois State Police Troopers: Daniel (Armand Cerami) and Mount (Steven Williams) for driving through a red light; the police were about to impound Elwood's car, due to his long criminal record, a suspended license, 116 outstanding traffic tickets and 56 moving violations; to avoid arrest, they fled in their Bluesmobile, followed by a contingent of police cars and two more troopers: Trooper La Fong (director John Landis) and a "Charming Trooper" (Stephen Bishop)
  • the comedy has become well known for its tremendous number of noisy and wasteful multi-car crashes and pile-ups on their way to and in the city of Chicago as they were relentlessly pursued in their Bluesmobile by police; there was an incredible amount of carnage, destroyed buildings and an entire shopping mall (Dixie Square Mall)
  • once the Blues Brothers arrived in a run-down area of Chicago, they narrowly avoided being hurt by a bazooka rocket launched by a strange Mystery Woman (Carrie Fisher) driving a red Cadillac, while on their way to Elwood's dingy flophouse hotel filled with homeless and indigent transients; the next morning, the Mystery Woman again assaulted the hotel building with her rocket launcher and reduced it to rubble, just as Troopers Daniel and Mount were about to arrest the brothers; they fled unharmed after her attack saved them from arrest
  • to assemble their band, the brothers searched for their ex-band members, and located the 5 member Murph and the Magic Tones playing a gig in an empty Holiday Inn Hotel lounge, and successfully persuaded them to join up; they also coerced band member and former trumpet player 'Mr. Fabulous' (Alan Rubin) at an upscale Chez Paul Restaurant to be recruited
  • while driving around in their Bluesmobile, a traffic jam at Jackson Park was caused by Head Neo-Nazi Leader (Henry Gibson) conducting a rally of "Illinois Nazis" on a stone bridge: ("White men! White women! The swastika is calling you! The sacred and ancient symbol of your race since the beginning of time. The Jew is using the black as muscle against you. And you are left there, helpless...What are you gonna do about it, whitey? Just sit there? Of course not! You are going to join with us, the members of the American Socialist White People's Party - an organization of decent law-abiding white folk just like you")
  • the Blues Brothers forced the hateful Nazi followers to jump off the bridge into a lagoon when they drove through, after Jake's stated: "I hate Illinois Nazis"; the Neo-Nazi leader vowed to seek revenge ("We're gonna kill that son of a bitch!")
The Neo-Nazi Rally
  • later inside a soul food restaurant on Maxwell Street, they found two more band members to accompany them - cook and owner Matt 'Guitar' Murphy (Matt Murphy) (a guitarist) and dishwasher 'Blue' Lou Marini (Lou Marini) (a saxophonist)
  • there were numerous Blues Brothers' musical performances, along with some others:
    • "Think" - a show-stopping version performed in the soul food diner by Mrs. Murphy (Aretha Franklin), the wife of the restaurant owner who tried to dissuade her husband from joining the band
    • "Shake a Tail Feather" with blind music store owner Ray (Ray Charles) at Ray's Music Exchange Shop in Calumet City, where they bought (with an I.O.U.) $1,400 dollars worth of musical instruments that he had demonstrated for them
    • the "Theme from "Rawhide" at Bob's Country Bunker in Kokomo, Indiana, where they had to win over an unruly country bar crowd after not paying their bar tab, and after impersonating the late-arriving country western band scheduled to play - the Good Ole Boys, led by singer Tucker McElroy (Charles Napier) who also doubled as their Winnebago driver
    • their first major gig was booked with promoter Maury Sline (Steve Lawrence), to play at the Palace Hotel Ballroom over 100 miles north of Chicago; in the packed ballroom, the opening act was "Minnie the Moocher" (reprised by Curtis (Cab Calloway)) who filled in for the late arrival of the Blues Brothers; Elwood praised the troopers in the audience poised around the perimeter to arrest them after their performance ("And we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois's law enforcement community that have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time. We certainly hope you all enjoy the show"); they sang the energetic "Everybody Needs Somebody to Love"
Memorable Musical Performances


"Shake a Tail Feather"

"Theme from Rawhide"

"Minnie the Moocher"

"Everybody Needs Somebody to Love"

"Jailhouse Rock"
  • their performance was so exceptional that after sneaking offstage, Clarion Records' President and music promoter (Michael Klenfner) offered them a cash advance of $10,000; some of the money was used to pay their I.O.U. for their instruments; the two brothers were able to sneak out through a trap door and service tunnel
  • in the crazed concluding sequence, they were again confronted by the Mystery Woman firing a high-powered M-16 rifle at them; it was revealed that she was Jake's ex-fiancee whom he had abandoned at her wedding several years ago; Jake apologized: ("I ran out of gas. I-I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! It wasn’t my fault, I swear to God!"), and then after removing his sunglasses, he was able to charm her, and she was moved to reconcile with him
  • Elwood introduced their road-trip journey back to Chicago: "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses" - Jake responded briefly: "Hit it!"
  • a massive car chase commenced as the Bluesmobile headed southward toward Chicago, pursued by police officers and state troopers, the enraged Good Ole Boys, the Nazis, Illinois National Guardsmen, SWAT teams, MPs, helicopters, and other disgruntled characters, etc.; at times, the race back to Chicago sometimes exceeded speeds over 100 mph, and dozens of cars crashed or piled up
  • in the final scene, their dilapidated car arrived at Daley Plaza as it sputtered to a stop; inside the adjacent Cook County City Hall Assessor's office, the Blues Brothers were able to pay the orphanage's property taxes to one of the office clerks (Steven Spielberg in a cameo) - but were then promptly arrested and handcuffed with dozens of guns pointed at them
  • following their arrest, the Blues Brothers played "Jailhouse Rock" during a prison concert to entertain the other inmates

The Blues Bros.

Elwood's Bluesmobile - A Used Police Car

Cheez-Whizz Guy

Sister Stigmata

The Blues Bros. with Curtis

Epiphany in Church

"We're on a mission from God!"

Mystery Woman (Carrie Fisher) Attempting to Kill Elwood

Carnage in Shopping Mall

Elwood Thanking Troopers in the Audience for Attending Their Performance

Jake's Apology to Mystery Woman For Leaving Her at the Altar

"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses"

Final Scene - At the Assessor's Office In Cook County City Hall

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)

  • director Larry Charles' controversial yet strangely popular mockumentary (faux documentary) comedy was essentially a road trip film to find the real America; the title character Borat Sagdiyev (actor and co-scripter Sacha Baron Cohen), an obtuse, ill-mannered, fictitious, anti-Semitic, sexist, bigoted and racist Kazakhstan TV reporter-journalist was selected by his government to film a documentary in the USA as he interacted and reacted with Americans in unscripted situations; he continually admitted his anti-Jewish prejudice: "Although Kazakhstan a glorious country, it have a problem, too: economic, social, and Jew"; there were numerous quotable one-liners, especially in Borat's butchering of the English language: "I like to make sexy time!"
  • in the non-PC film's opening set in his hometown of Kusak in Kazakhstan, Borat introduced himself: ("My name Borat. I like you. I like sex. It's nice"); he also introduced his sister - with a lengthy kiss: ("This is Natalya. She is my sister. She is number four prostitute in all of Kazakhstan"); she held up a trophy as proof; he also told a disgusting story about how his brother Bilo ultimately was able to rape his teasing sister: "Sometime my sister, she show her vazhïn to my brother Bilo and say 'You will never get this you will never get it la la la la la la.' He behind his cage. He cries, he cries and everybody laughs. She goes 'You never get this.' But one time he break cage and he 'get this' and then we all laugh. High five!"
  • upon his arrival in the US (New York City), Borat described his possessions: "I arrived in America's airport with clothings, US dollars, and a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS"; his first mishap occurred on the subway to his hotel when his pet chicken escaped from his suitcase, as he assured everyone: "I'll get him! Careful, he bite"; he also insulted a New York businessman on the street by asking: "I kiss you?"; the man snapped back: "Yeah, you kiss me and I'll pop you in the f--king balls, OK?"
  • during Borat's meeting with a group of veteran feminists as the only male, he derisively asked them: "Do you think a woman should be educate?...But is it not a problem that a woman have a smaller brain than a man?... But the government scientist, Dr. Yamak, prove it's the size of squirreI"
  • the film's recurring theme was Borat's recent obsession with Baywatch's lifeguard character C.J. Parker (Pamela Anderson), with a tight, red one-piece swimsuit who he first viewed on his hotel's TV - "This C.J. was like no Kazakh woman I have ever seen. She had golden hairs, teeth as white as pearls, and the asshole of a seven-year-old. For the first time in my lifes, I was in love"; he decided to travel to Los Angeles to meet her, motivated while dreaming about her: "The only thing keeping me going was my dream of one day holding Pamela in my arms and making romance explosion on her stomach"; he also expressed his unrealistic fantasies of having sex with her: "I will take her vagin for the first time! I will uncork her!"
  • Borat was relieved when he learned that his wife Oxanna was reported to have died in an accident; he remembered how she had threatened him if he was unfaithful: "If you cheat on me, I will snap off your cock!"
  • after taking driving instruction lessons, the sex-obsessed Borat engaged in a conversation with a car dealership owner-salesman, asking first: "I want to have a car that attract a woman with a shave down below"; when told he should buy a Corvette or a Hummer, he added: "I must buy one with a pussy magnet" - a literal one - and Borat kept asking: "Where do you keep this magnet?"; Borat continued by obscenely comparing his aging wife to the car's warranty: "When I uh, buy my wife, at the start she was uh, cook good, her vazhïn work well, and she strong on plow. But after three years when she was fifteen, then she become weak, her voice become deep: BORAT BORAT, eh, she receive hair on chest, and vazhïn hang like sleeve of wizard"; with only less than $1,000 dollars, Borat was sold an old ice cream truck
  • their stops along the way included North and South Carolina, and Washington, DC, where he met with a TV weatherman and a gay-pride supporting politician Alan Keyes (Himself)
  • during a rodeo in Salem, SC, Borat told the cheering crowd: "We support your War of Terror," and then announced: "May we show our support to your boys in Iraq?. May U.S. and A kill every single terrorist. May George Bush drink the blood of every single man, woman and child of Iraq. May you destroy their country so that for the next thousand years not even a single lizard will survive in their desert" - and then he followed up by singing his own Kazakhi anthem to the tune of the "Star Spangled Banner": ("Kazakhstan is the greatest country in the world / All other countries are run by little girls / Kazakhstan is number-one exporter of potassium / Other Central Asian countries have inferior potassium / Kazakhstan is the greatest country in the world / All other countries is the home of the gays")
  • while visiting a gun shop (to buy a gun to kill Jews), Borat handled a gun as he remarked: "I feel like American movie star Dirty Harold"; and then he pointed and aimed the gun and pretended to be "Dirty Harry" as he threatened: "Go ahead, make my day, Jew..."
  • in Birmingham, AL in preparation for a formal, high-society dinner party, patient female etiquette coach Kathie B. Martin attempted to help Borat with his table manners in an hour tutorial session after he asked: "Will you please teach me how to dine like gentleman?"; during the actual dinner party at the Magnolia Mansion (on Secession Dr.) with Southern dining society guests, he misinterpreted a 'retired' construction worker as a "retard" and asked: "PhysicaI or mentaI?", he also offered to show pictures of his family (a totally full-frontal photo of his son Huey Lewis, along with detailed commentary about the boy's genital growth: "He grow three centimeter. He now 17 centimeter long"); Borat made a sexualized comment about the appearance of one of the females: "You have a very gentle face and a very erotic physique," and after visiting the restroom or 's--t-hole' - ("the place to make the s--t...Not to bath. To make dirt from anus"), he returned with a white bag supposedly holding his own human feces; amazingly, one of the guests thought Borat had promise: "I think he's a delightfuI man, and it wouldn't take very much time for him to really become Americanized"; the night was topped off with the arrival of Borat's prostitute-friend Luennell (as Herself) for dessert, and calls to the Sheriff to arrest him
  • the film's humorous, lengthy, and nervously-funny precursor to the lengthy naked fight scene in Cronenberg's Eastern Promises (2007) was also an epic naked (ass-to-mouth) wrestling match between Borat and his own overweight and hairy documentary producer-cinematographer Azamat Bagatov (Ken Davitian); in their Houston, TX hotel room, Borat caught Azamat masturbating over a picture of Baywatch's "goddess" Pamela Anderson (he shouted at his partner: "How dare you make hand-party over Pamela?"); they began to wrestle naked in their hotel room
The Epic Naked Wrestling Match in Hotel Room After Azamat Was Caught Masturbating to Magazine
  • during their fight, their genitals were continually blocked out by black squares (an insanely-long black bar for Borat's genitals); after they ended up in an embarrassing '69' position (and Azamat threatened to crush his weight into Borat's face: "Eat my asshole!"), their struggle eventually left the hotel room, spilled out into the hallway, elevator (with other shocked guests) and into the lobby and conference hall where a meeting was being conducted; they ended up on the stage of a mortgage brokers' annual banquet-seminar/convention
  • after leaving Houston and hitchhiking to Phoenix, AZ, Borat attended a Pentecostal church and found himself joining the church and being baptized; he eventually ended up in Hollywood, where he was reunited and reconciled with Azamat, who reported locating Borat's idol - Pamela Anderson; she was found at a DVD signing at a Virgin Records store in Orange, CA
Borat with Pamela Anderson (Herself) at a California Book-Signing - And His Attempt to Kidnap Her
  • after the love-smitten Borat proposed marriage to her, she naturally declined, but he wouldn't accept rejection; he responded: "Agreement not necessary" and attempted to capture her, Kazakhstan-style, by placing a 'wedding sack' over her head to kidnap her; she resisted him and ran off, and he was arrested by security guards

"My name Borat"

Borat's Sexy Sister Natalya With a Trophy

Escaped Pet Chicken from Suitcase on a NYC Subway

Insulting A Group of Feminists

Borat Requesting a "Pussy Magnet" Car with Auto Salesman

With a TV Weatherman

At an SC Rodeo, Borat Sang His Own Country's National Anthem

Gun Shop - Pretending to be "Dirty Harold"

Borat's Etiquette Lessons Failed at an Elegant Dinner Party

Borat Showing Off an Inappropriate Picture of His Son

Wrestling Match Ended in Convention Room

Borat's Attendance at a Pentecostal Church

Born Yesterday (1950)

  • director George Cukor's comedy - one of the greatest of all-time, was based upon Garson Kanin's 1946 play, and remade as Born Yesterday (1993) with Melanie Griffith, John Goodman, and Don Johnson
  • in the opening sequence, all three of the major characters were introduced during an elaborate arrival scene at Washington DC's Hotel Statler:
    • corrupt, disreputable and uncouth, ignorant, and crooked millionaire junkyard (scrap-iron) tycoon Harry Brock (Broderick Crawford)
    • his unrefined, expensively-dressed (with multiple fur coats) "dumb blonde" ex-chorus girl mistress/fiancee (a 'kept woman' for seven years) from Brooklyn named Emma "Billie" Dawn (Judy Holliday, a Best Actress Oscar winner in a major upset)
    • and influential, DC political journalist Paul Verrall (William Holden)
  • Paul was stunned by their lengthy entourage and amount of luggage; he was unsuccessful in speaking to Brock as he entered the hotel's private elevator; the group (with the over-accommodating leadership of the hotel's concierge (Grandon Rhodes)) was escorted to an upper-floor, reserved "entire wing" of three suites of rooms "usually reserved for foreign diplomats" - costing $400/day
  • the first instance of hearing Billie's screeching, shrill, unabashedly vulgar, stupid-sounding (Betty Boop-like) voice occurred after loud-mouthed meat-head Brock shouted at her from one wing of the hotel to another - she responded with a thick-accented, brassy: "WHAT?!"
  • in one of the film's most famous scenes, Billie played a gin rummy game against Harry and always won ("Gin!")
  • in consultation with his Washington lawyer Jim Devery (Howard St. John), Brock was seriously contemplating setting up an educational tutor to refine Billie's harsh social graces, so that he wouldn't be embarrassed by her behavior in front of congressmen and other influential people
  • Brock hired Paul Verrall as Billie's tutor for $200/week - to refine Billie and make her more socially respectable and happy: ("Show her the ropes, sorta, and kinda explain things to her"), while he was working bribes and trying to influence politicians; Paul was particularly interested in trying to expose Brock's nefarious business dealings while working with Billie
  • (It was revealed during the story that Brock had unethically been using the unwitting Billie as an accomplice for his many business maneuverings and illegalities by having his empire of junkyards registered in her name - so he wouldn't be held responsible if prosecuted)
  • Paul explained his mission to Billie, who at first thought he was a gigolo until he specified: "He'd just like me to put you wise to a few things, show you the ropes, answer any questions"; she admitted, however, that she was mostly satisfied and happy ("He thinks I'm too stupid, huh?...He's right. I'm stupid, and I like it....I'm happy. I got everything I want. Two mink coats. Everything. There's somethin' I want, I ask. If he don't act friendly, I don't act friendly....So, as long as I know how to get what I want, that's all I wanna know") - but there was one thing she did request: "I'd like to learn how to talk good"
  • to illustrate her ignorance, Billie was unaware of the difference between a peninsula and penicillin, but with increased intelligence after her lessons with Paul about proper diction, she began to correct Brock - i.e., Harry Brock: "Shut up! You ain't gonna be tellin' nobody nothin' pretty soon!" Billie Dawn: "DOUBLE NEGATIVE! Right?" Paul: "Right!"
  • Paul provided civic-lessons to Billie through field trip/tours around Washington DC's monuments and public buildings, while they shared ice-cream bars and she stated: "It's interesting how many interesting things a person could learn if they read"; he became amused when she put on her glasses and admitted that she was "practically blind" (he had to correct her misplaced adverb: "I'm blind, practically"); after he summarized for her the meaning of his own obtuse article about American democracy: "The Yellowing Democratic Manifesto" in just a simple sentence, she exclaimed: "That's this?...Well, why didn't you say so?"; over time, Billie began to develop social consciousness and a true understanding of democracy, as well as an understanding of Brock's corruption, greed, power and personal arrogance
  • there was a burgeoning romance that slowly developed between Billie and bachelor Paul, after he kissed her in an elevator: (Billie: "What are ya doin'?" Paul: "If you don't know, I must be doing it wrong")
  • in the climactic scene, the newly-independent, free-thinking Billie realized that she needed to escape from Brock forever, when he was becoming more aggressively abusive, and repeatedly calling her 'dumb': "I feel like I wanna go away!...I just know I hate my life. There's a better cut. I know it. And if you'd read some of these books, you'd know it too. Maybe it's right what you say: I'm still dumb. But I know one thing I never knew before. There's a better kind of life than the one I got. Or you!...You eat terrible! You got no manners! Takin' your shoes off all the time, that's another thing, and pickin' your teeth. You're just not couth!...You don't own me. Nobody can own anybody. There's a law that says"; when he shouted at her to "Beat it!" and mercilessly slapped her - she called him a "Big Fascist!"
  • Billie retorted to Harry: "Would you do me a favor, Harry?...Drop dead!"
  • finally, she stood up to Brock, and laid down an ultimatum. She affirmed that she would no longer sign any of his business papers in his scheme to form a scrap-iron cartel, and she threatened to leave him: ("When you steal from the government, you steal from yourself, ya dumb ox!") - she decided to slowly relinquish his 126 different properties back to him that she legally owned (he had signed them over to her to hide them from the government), but only one by one: "In this whole thing, I guess you forgot about me - about how I'm a partner....So here's how it's gonna be. I don't want 'em. I don't want anything of yours or to do with you, so I'm gonna sign 'em over ...only not all at once. Just one at a time. One a year. Only you gotta behave! 'Cause if you don't, I could let go on everything! For what you've done, even since I've known you, I bet you could be put in jail for about 900 years. You'd be a pretty old man when you got out"
  • meanwhile, the two lovers Paul and Billie were married; the film's final lines were spoken to a motorcycle cop who asked for their license, but the officer was given their recent marriage license; he chuckled: "License please. No, not this license" - but then quickly forgave their crime: "Okay, forget it. My wedding present. But take it easy, or you'll never make it"; Billie spoke about her recent marriage to Paul: "Oh, don't worry, we'll make it. It's a clear case of predestination." Officer: "Pre--- what?" Billie: "Look it up!"

Opening Sequence:
Billie Dawn (Judy Holliday) Screeching - "What?!"

Billie to Brock: "Gin!"

Billie's Civic Lesson DC Tours with Paul

Paul and Billie Kissing in Elevator

Ultimatums to Brock: "Drop dead"

Billie to Motorcycle Cop:
"Look it up!"

Bowfinger (1999)

  • in director Frank Oz's satirical, showbiz Hollywood film-making comedy spoof (about making a bargain-basement movie by not letting the main male star know that he was being filmed for the movie), desperate, 49 year-old washed-up, second-rate movie producer-director Robert "Bobby" K. Bowfinger (Steve Martin) was determined to make a sci-fi alien invasion movie based upon a screenplay by an accountant named Afrim titled "Chubby Rain" - with only $2,184 dollars of his own life's saved-up funds; the film's title was explained: "You see, the aliens come down to Earth in the raindrops"
Director Bobby Bowfinger (Steve Martin) Meeting With Studio Executive Jerry Renfro (Robert Downey, Jr.)
  • in the Dome, an upscale Beverly Hills restaurant, Bowfinger (after entering and conducting a fake mobile phone conversation with himself) orchestrated a meeting with Universal Pictures' studio executive Jerry Renfro (Robert Downey Jr.) at an adjacent table; he expressed enthusiasm and promised distribution for the movie if Bowfinger could acquire self-absorbed action-star Kit Ramsey (Eddie Murphy) for the lead role to make it a "go picture"
  • in his mansion, the paranoid and twitchy Kit was introduced complaining with his agent about Hollywood's unfair treatment, awful casting decisions, and poor scripts: ("...the white man takin' all the best catch phrases and then givin' them to Arnold or Stallone...And Jackie Chan and Van Damme, and they can't even speak English good"); he was unconvinced by Bowfinger to take the role in his sci-fi film, and then abandoned Bowfinger outside his gated home

MindHead Institute

Kit's Spiritual Counselor Terry Stricter
  • the insecure Kit immediately was driven off in a limo to attend his weekly session at a cult-like pseudo-Scientology institution for mesmerized Hollywood elites known as MindHead (with the slogan: "Truth Through Strength"); due to his fears that he was being stalked by aliens, he expressed his concerns to his New Age head psychiatrist-counselor Terry Stricter (Terence Stamp), the MindHead Honcho; the paranoid Kit was encouraged to have happy thoughts, and not buy into his belief in aliens and covert conspiracy theories; Stricter also insisted that Kit not continually talk about sexually exposing himself to the Lakers Team Cheerleaders: "You cannot show it to the Laker Girls. Keep Mr. Weenie in the pants. Always in the pants. I know you want to show it to the Laker Girls, but you must never show it to the Laker Girls"
  • the scheming Bowfinger cunningly announced that they would film Kit (covertly without his permission with hidden cameras), but not let him know that the footage shot of him would be for the movie ("He won't know he's in it"); Bowfinger also informed his crew and cast that Kit had agreed to make the movie, but wished to remain in character; later on in the film, Bowfinger rationalized his deceit: ("Did you know Tom Cruise had no idea he was in that vampire movie till two years later?"); the film's tagline was: "THE CON IS ON"; the film would take advantage of Kit's fear of aliens; and to keep costs down, illegal Mexican immigrants were cheaply hired for the crew after Bowfinger asserted: "I wanna get the best damn crew we can afford"
  • Kit was found lunching at an outdoor table at the Rodeo Grille with his agent where he was delivering a ranting complaint about racist discrimination in Hollywood evidenced by white-only Oscar nominations: "White boys get all the Oscars. It's, it's a fact...Did I get a nomination? No! And you know what? 'Cause I, I ain't played one of them slave roles, and get my ass whipped. That's when you get the nominations. A black dude play a slave role, gets his ass whipped, he gets the nomination. A white boy play an idiot, they get the Oscar. Maybe I should play - give me, find me a script as a retarded slave, then I get the Oscar...Yeah, go find that script, 'Buck the Wonder Slave!'"
  • when his agent left the table, Kit was flabbergasted by strangers coming up to him during surreptitious filming and speaking about aliens; later, he told Stricter how confused he was: "They talk about things I never heard of. They talk about people I don't know. Somebody named Cynthia, somebody named Keith. And aliens, sex and umbrellas"
  • desiring more screen time in Bowfinger's film, a naive Midwesterner from Ohio (who was bedhopping for favorable career advancement) - aspiring ingenue floozy starlet Daisy (Heather Graham) - a possible lead co-star for Kit, requested that Afrim write more flesh-baring sex scenes for her in the film; she told Bowfinger that she offered to bare herself for the sake of the film: ('If I have to. If it's for the movie, and you really really want me to. And if it's not just about nudity, but if it's artistic and says something about reality, and if it's in character and if it's for the scene, and if it's not just a body that...")
  • when the sanity of the strained Kit caused a nervous breakdown, he went into hiding in MindHead's special "celebrity relaxing quarters"; Bowfinger went on a search for a stand-in look-alike actor ("We'll round up look-alikes just for the long shots. We'll shoot 'em from behind and not show his face"); during the audition of naive, giddy, nerdy fast-food restaurant worker Jiffrinson (also Eddie Murphy), he boasted: "I'm an active, uh, renter at Blockbuster, and I, um, attend the filmed cinema, uh, as much as possible, weekly, bi-weekly, inter-week- intermediately"; when asked: "Would you be willing to cut your hair?" he responded: "Yes, but it's usually better if someone else does it"
  • during his first day on the set, Jiff made a frantic, death-defying run (twice) across a busy Los Angeles freeway (the cars were digitally-added later!) [Note: Jiff later revealed that he was actually Kit's blood-brother.]
  • during dinner with Bowfinger, Daisy spoke about their mutual likes and dislikes, including The Flintstones TV show, "walks in the park - in the rain", and Robert Preston in The Music Man; then, when she asked: "Do you LOVE Smashing Pumpkins?", he gave an inept reply: "Are you kidding? I LOVE to do that!"
  • their interactions turned into a seduction scene when Bowfinger was stretched out on top of the much younger Daisy and kissing her as they discussed her scripted nude scene: (Bowfinger: "But I worry about our age difference"; Daisy: "What is age? It's a state of mind....Who cares if when I hit my sexual peak, you'll be 70?"); she demonstrated her cluelessness when she didn't understand his film reference: "I know, it's Bogey and Bacall!" - and she asked him: "Who?"; she then admitted that she wanted to make love to him, but that she had concerns about shooting love scenes: "It's so hard to make love, to give yourself to a man. It's the woman who's entered, it's the woman who's violated....To know that the man inside you is part of you and that he would not prevent the added scenes of yours from being shot"; he promised to put her in the film: "I want you in this movie, and this movie is your movie" before she agreed to make love to him
  • during the shooting of Daisy's topless love scene with an awestruck Jiff, he responded with a wide grin after she removed her blouse; when she whispered to him: "I have feelings that make me need you. Need you now" - he told her: "Awesome! (ad-libbed) You're doin' great. You're gonna be a star!"
  • soon after, Bowfinger became accusatory and jealous after Jiff confessed to him about the "fringe benefits" of acting - he had just had sex with nymphomanic Daisy in the production van: "She gave me the works, man. She is the most inventive girl...She's so strong. She's pure power and speed. Real hot"; then after sending Jiff on some errands, he called Daisy into his office and reprimanded her: "We are finished! We are over!" but he was quick-to-subside his anger at Daisy when she replied: "So?", he acquiesed: "I never thought of it that way" - and they made future plans to see each other that night at 8 o'clock
  • eventually, Bowfinger Studios became worried that they might not be able to finish the film's final scene, set to be shot at Griffith Park Observatory; their attempts to conclude the film with Kit's popular signature catchphrase: "Gotcha suckas!" failed when Kit's therapist Terry Stricter - who feared that the "aliens" weren't just in Kit's head, disruptively arrived at the Observatory via helicopter and interrupted the production to save Kit
  • meanwhile, cinematographer Dave (Jamie Kennedy) was reviewing off-set footage he had shot while following Kit around; Bowfinger was astounded that some of the footage - of Kit in front of the Los Angeles Lakers basketball team cheerleaders - would allow them to keep filming: "I think we just got our permission"

Bowfinger Viewing Offensive Footage of Kit: "I think we just got our permission!"

Footage of Kit Exposing Himself to the Lakers' Cheerleaders
  • Stricter was shown the potential "blackmail" footage of Kit doing "it" - exposing and "flashing" himself (with a paper bag over his head with eye holes slits) by opening his coat and showing himself to the Los Angeles Lakers basketball team cheerleaders, who responded with hysterical laughter; he shouted at them: "It's not funny!"; Bowfinger threatened and then requested: "All I really need is a shot of Kit saying, 'Gotcha, suckas' and a couple of close-ups. Or we have to tag our film with a shot of Kit wagging his thing at the Laker Girls. Which is a great ending. I mean, who wouldn't wanna see that? Although technically, it's not such a good ending for Kit because it could sort of stop his money flow, and possibly make that family film he's about to do, just pff-ff!"; Stricter agreed to encourage Kit to finish the project, and to release the finished film
  • the film concluded with the highly successful premiere of "Chubby Rain"; afterwards, at a celebratory party at the home of director Bowfinger, he received a FedEx delivery of an envelope holding a contract for the studio's next film - a martial arts Kung Fu film ("Fake Purse Ninjas") starring Kit's brother Jiff (Bowfinger reacted: "We're going to Taiwan!")

Aspiring but Broke Wanna-Be Director Bowfinger (Steve Martin)

Kit Ramsey (Eddie Murphy)

A Scene Filmed at the Rodeo Grille With the Unaware Kit Ramsey Not Knowing He Was In the Film

Jiff Auditioning for the Part of a Look-Alike Kit

Jiff Running Across Freeway During His First Day of Shooting

Bowfinger after Dinner with Aspiring Actress Daisy (Heather Graham): "It's Bogey and Bacall"

Bowfinger to Daisy: "I want you in this movie, and this movie is your movie"

Daisy's Topless Scene With Awestruck Actor Jiff Ramsey (Eddie Murphy) - With Bowfinger Directing

Bowfinger's Brief Jealousy at Daisy for Sleeping Around ("We are finished, we are over")

Kit's Aborted Line of Dialogue: "Gotcha Suckas" Atop Griffith Observatory During Filming

Marquee for "Chubby Rain"

Kit and Daisy at the Premiere of "Chubby Rain"

The Next Film: Fake Purse Ninjas

Bridesmaids (2011)

  • director Paul Feig's R-rated romantic comedy was about a jealousy-based competition that quickly developed between two affection-seeking females for the love, friendship and attention of an engaged bride-to-be; it boasted the tagline: "Chick Flicks Don't Have to Suck."
  • in the opening sequence set in Milwaukee, WI, mid-30s, lovelorn, depressed and single female Annie Walker (co-scripter and actress Kristen Wiig) was having dysfunctional sex with her uncaring, self-absorbed and misogynistic sex partner Ted (Jon Hamm), who insisted on having no-strings-attached sex: ("l just don't want to make promises l can't keep") - something that Annie agreed with ("We're on the same page")
Annie Walker with Misogynistic Ted (Jon Hamm) - Wild but Dysfunctional Sex
  • over lunch the next day with her best friend Lillian Donovan (Maya Rudolph), Annie was advised to find someone better: "You're a total catch, and any guy would be psyched to be your man. You should just make room for somebody who is nice to you"
  • after the failure of her bakery store Cake Baby that she had opened during a recession, the underachieving retail store pastry chef Annie had resorted to working as a low-paid jewelry store clerk at Cholodecki's; due to her depressed state of mind, Annie was turning away customers (she inappropriately whispered to one engaged Asian couple (Tom Yi and Elaine Kao): "You cannot trust anybody, ever. Especially someone you're in a relationship with"); she was cautioned by her recovering alcoholic boss Don Cholodecki (Michael Hitchcock) for poor salesmanship: "You're selling lifelong happiness. You're not telling everyone about your problems and how your boyfriend left you, and maybe marriage will work out"
  • Annie was burdened with renting a room in a cramped apartment with two socially-clueless, British immigrant siblings - well-nourished and bald Gil (Matt Lucas) and his lazy and overweight sister Brynn (Rebel Wilson) who had just received a hideous, free abdomen tattoo of a "Mexican drinking worm" (now infected) from a streetside tattoo artist; they didn't respect Annie's privacy read her excerpts from her private diary
  • the film's turning point came when she was asked by her very best and oldest friend, recently-engaged Lillian Donovan, to be her maid of honor (and wedding planner) at her impending wedding to a wealthy Chicago banker named Doug/"Dougie" Price (Tim Heidecker).
  • during a fancy outdoor garden engagement party at Lillian's house, maid of honor Annie met for the first time with the four selected bridesmaids for Lillian's bridal party:
    • Rita (Wendi McLendon-Covey) - Lillian's blonde, older, marriage-cynical and sexy older cousin who described the disgusting, semen-drenched wake created by her three adolescent boys
    • Becca (Ellie Kemper) - Lillian's naive, idealistic and sickly-in-love, newly-wed friend and work colleague, who mentioned her recent honeymoon at Disney World with her nerdy husband Kevin (Greg Tuculescu)
    • Megan (Melissa McCarthy) - the brash, loud-mouthed, uncouth, vulgar, slobbish sister of the groom who was recovering with pins in her legs after falling off a cruise ship and being saved by a telepathic dolphin: ("Took a hard, hard, violent fall. Kind of pinballed down. Hit a lot of railings, broke a lot of s--t. l'm not gonna say l survived, l'm gonna say l thrived. l met a dolphin down there. And l swear to God, that dolphin looked not at me, but into my soul. lnto my god-damn soul, Annie. And he said, 'l'm saving you, Megan.' Not with his mouth, but he said it, l'm assuming, telepathically"); after Megan mistook a tall, black man for Annie's fella (Hugh Dane), she quipped: "l'm glad he's single, because l'm gonna climb that like a tree"
    • Helen Harris III (Rose Byrne) - the seemingly-perfect, pretty, snobbishly-wealthy, controlling, and vain sophisticate with a Type A personality - the wife of Perry Harris (Andy Buckley), the boss of Lillian's fiancee

Rita (Wendi McLendon-Covey)

Becca (Ellie Kemper)

Megan (Melissa McCarthy)

Helen Harris III (Rose Byrne)
The Four Bridesmaids
  • immediately, the insecure Annie took a jealous and personal dislike to Helen, especially after Helen made a tearful, public statement before all the guests at the engagement party about her friendship with Lillian ("Lillian, you are my best friend"), and Annie unsuccessfully tried to upstage her during a duel of microphones
  • after lunch arranged by Annie for all the bridesmaids in a cheap, local and seedy Brazilian steak restaurant, the group was led to an upscale, chic wedding gown shop (Belle en Blanc) where Annie was told she needed a reservation and was denied entry; the influential Helen who knew the store's manager Whitney (Jessica St. Clair) upstaged her and they were quickly allowed access
  • while trying on dresses to be considered for all the bridesmaids, some of the group members realized that their lunch had caused food poisoning; almost all of them (except for Helen who had ordered a salad) were suffering severe stomach ailments and uncontrollable diarrhea; two of them rushed to the bathroom, where Megan - with the toilet occupied - hopped up on the sink to expel her stomach's contents, roaring out: "Look away!...What did we eat? It's coming out of me like lava! Don't f--kin' look at me!"
  • soon after, the sickened bride Lillian - who was wearing a white sample wedding gown, also ran out into the middle of the street to find a bathroom, sank or squatted down with her white dress billowing around her, as she evacuated her bowels: "It's happening?...It happened!"; Annie reacted in shock: "You're really doing it, aren't ya? You're s--tting in the street!"
  • after the fiasco at the bridal shop, Annie suggested a bachelorette party at Lillian's parent's Lake House, but Helen co-opted the situation and proposed instead an expensive trip to Las Vegas; maid of honor Annie refused a first-class ticket offered to her by Helen and sat in the economy seats instead, as Helen explained: "She's too proud"
  • during take-off, Annie visited her friends in first class, and was vehemently told to return to her seat; the embarrassing Annie became drunk, paranoid, loud, and outrageous as a result of many factors - her fear of flying due to her nervous seatmate (Annie Mumolo) who told her: ("l had a dream last night that we went down...l heard about a woman who went to the bathroom on a plane. She got sucked into the toilet"), and her consumption of a Scotch drink and a sedative provided by Helen
  • during a second visit to her friend Lillian and Helen when she was told that coach passengers couldn't be in first-class, Annie made a Hitler-face and rebuked male flight attendant Steve (Mitch Silpa) with a German accent: "Ooh, this a very strict plane. Welcome to Germany! Aufwiedersein Asshole"; shortly later, during a third visit when Annie sat down in a first class seat, she was again ordered by Steve to return to her economy seat: ("You have 3 seconds to get back to your seat"), she quipped: "You can't get anywhere in 3 seconds....You're setting me up for a loss already"
  • as a result of Annie's disruptions, disrespect for the flight attendant, and her scary announcement over the PA system ("There is a CoIoniaI woman on the wing...She was churning butter on that wing...She is dressed in traditional Colonial garb"), US Air Marshal Jon (Ben Falcone) chased after her and detained her; coincidentally, the Air Marshal was Megan's seatmate whom she suspected all along as being an Air Marshal when she tried to seduce him; the plane made a premature landing in Casper, WY where the entire group was escorted off the plane
  • as a result, the bachelorette party was cancelled, and the group was forced to take a Chicago-bound bus back to Milwaukee; Annie's apologies to Lillian were overruled - Helen was appointed to take over all future wedding plans for both the bridal shower and the marital ceremony itself
  • later in town, Annie met up again for the third time with Irish-American Wisconsin State Patrol officer Nathan Rhodes (Chris O'Dowd) whom she had met a few days earlier when he stopped her for a suspected DUI and broken taillights, and at a 24/7 convenience store; after drinks in a bar, their brief overnight together at his place led to a misunderstanding (a "curve-ball") and a quick parting of the ways when she became annoyed that he kept pressuring her to reopen her bakery business by asking her to bake for him in his kitchen with recently-bought ingredients: (Annie: "I don't need you to fix me...l don't need any help")
  • Annie also faced two further disruptions in her life - she lost her job at the jewelry store after engaging in a vicious argument (consisting of crude back and forth personal insults) with a 13 year-old girl (Mia Rose Frampton), culminating in Annie's loud name-calling of the young customer: ("You're a little c--t!"); she was also asked to leave by her apartment mates: (Brynn: "We would like to invite you to no longer live with us"), and she was forced to move in with her mother Judy Walker (Jill Clayburgh)

Breakup with Officer Rhodes After a Sleep-Over

Annie Trading Personal Insults With Young Jewelry Store Customer

Brynn to Annie: "We would like to invite you to no longer live with us"
  • at a fancy bridal shower brunch held in the Harris Estate in Chicago, extreme micro-managing Helen (who had borrowed Annie's idea about its Parisian theme) again outperformed Annie's handmade shower gift (of her favorite things and mementos) by presenting Lillian with a pre-wedding vacation trip to Paris to attend a gown fitting with a top designer; during another angry outburst from Annie, she accused Helen of being a lesbian, and for putting on a "over-the-top" event: ("Oh how romantic! What woman gives another woman a trip to Paris? Am I right? Lesbian! We're all thinking it, aren't we?"); she also made fun of a "f--king" giant cookie on display in the garden ("Did you really think that this group of women was going to finish that cookie?"; her hateful words and destructive acts caused her to be dismissed from both the shower and the wedding by Lillian for runing all her wedding events
  • depressed at home while watching Cast Away (2000) (the scene of the loss of Tom Hanks' friend 'Wilson'), a very helpful and understanding Megan came over and listened to Annie's distressed predicament: "I can't get off the couch. I got fired from my job, I got kicked out of my apartment, I can't pay any of my bills, my car is a piece of s--t, I don't have any friends..."; Megan advised her to not feel sorry for herself: "You have got to fight back on life...l'm life and l'm going to bite you in the ass!...l'm trying to get you to fight for your s--tty life, and you won't do it!...Now, you got to stop feeling sorry for yourself...You're your problem, Annie. And you're also your solution"
  • in the film's turn-around conclusion, on the day of Lillian's wedding, Helen appeared at Annie's door requesting her help in finding Lillian who had disappeared; Helen apologized for splitting the friendship between Lillian and Annie, and admitted that she was lonely and had few friends: ("I'm basically just by myself"), and that Lillian had only requested her help because of her skill at organizing parties, and not because of friendship
Annie's Many Attempts in Her Car to Get Officer Rhodes' Attention: ("Hey, I'm Topless!")
  • after finally getting the attention of reluctant Officer Nathan Rhodes and enlisting his help to locate her, the overwhelmed Lillian was found hiding out in her apartment; she admitted that she was fearful of Helen's extravagant, micromanaged wedding plans and her future new life outside of Milwaukee, and also was apologetic to Annie for being left out of the proceedings: ("This whole wedding is f--ked up. Helen just took over everything, and everything's got out of control...l'm sorry l kicked you out of my wedding"); Lillian and Annie were reconciled, and Annie was restored as the maid of honor
  • at the fancy wedding, Helen had arranged for neon signs, fireworks and an appearance by Wilson Phillips; after the wedding, Annie was reconciled with an apologetic Helen, who had orchestrated a reunion for her with Nathan; after kissing her, he invited her to be "arrested" and ride in the backseat of his squad car with flashing lights and a siren - - there was hope for a real romance with Officer Rhodes

Bride-to-be Lillian Donovan (Maya Rudolph)

Maid of Honor Annie Walker (Kristen Wiig)

Annie's Closed-Down Bakery Shop in Milwaukee

Annie's British Flatmates: Gil and Brynn

Lillian With Her Fiancee Doug Price (
Tim Heidecker)

Annie's Acquaintance with Officer Nathan Rhodes (Chris O'Dowd)

Annie and the Bridesmaids at the Belle en Blanc Bridal Shop

Sickened Bridesmaids Rita and Megan in Bathroom

Megan to Rita: "LOOK AWAY!"

Megan With Food Poisoning Perched on a Sink in a Chic Bridal Gown Shop

Lillian Suffering Diarrhea In the Middle of the Street ("It's happening...It happened!")

Entering the Plane to Las Vegas

Annie - Drinking and Taking a Sedative on the Plane

Drunken Annie - Making a Hitler-Face toward Flight Attendant Steve on the Airplane to Vegas

Annie's Spiteful Outburst at Helen During the Bridal Shower Brunch - Accusing Her of Being a Lesbian

Annie Destroying Giant Cookie at Bridal Shower

Helen Apologizing to Annie For Splitting Up Annie From Lillian

Lillian in Ill-Fitting Designer Wedding Dress

The Fancy Wedding Ceremony

Annie Reconciled with Officer Rhodes

Bridget Jones's Diary (2001, UK/US)

  • director Sharon Macguire's comedy-romance was based upon Helen Fielding's popular 1996 novel (a reinterpretation of Jane Austen's 1813 novel Pride & Prejudice), about the disastrous love life of a 30-something, unattached, plump, ever-single London Britisher female with a job in publishing; she was always embarrassed and contending with her over-indulgent drinking, smoking, and eating, while seeking someone to love; its tagline was: "ALL WOMEN KEEP SCORE...ONLY THE GREAT ONES PUT IT IN WRITING"
  • it was widely noted that Bridget Jones' romance with Mark Darcy mirrored Elizabeth Bennet's romance with Fitzwilliam Darcy in the novel Pride & Prejudice; Bridget also worked at Pemberley Press - the name of Darcy's estate in the book; there were also parallels between George Wickham and his modern philandering counterpart Daniel Cleaver

Bridget Jones (Renée Zellweger) at Work at London's Pemberley Press

Bridget's Editor-in-Chief Publisher Boss Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant)

Bridget's Detested Proper Childhood Friend-Acquaintance Mark Darcy (Colin Firth)
Bridget Jones and Her Two Romantic Rivals
  • at a New Years Day "turkey curry buffet" party in 1999 at her mother's place, attempts were vainly made to set up overweight 32 year-old London book publisher assistant Bridget Jones (Renée Zellweger) with staid, proper-acting 36 year-old divorced barrister Mark Darcy (Colin Firth), who was home visiting his parents (neighboring friends of her family); when viewing him from the back, she thought to herself: "Maybe this time Mum had got it right...Maybe this was the mysterious Mr. Right I'd been waiting my whole life to meet"; after she caught a glimpse of Mark's ugly reindeer Christmas sweater, she added to herself that she had changed her mind: "Maybe not"; according to her mother (Gemma Jones), she had apparently known him since childhood, running around naked on his lawn
  • Bridget told Mark that she was slightly hung-over from the previous night's London party and vowed to reform this next year: "New Year's Resolution: drink less, oh, and quit smoking, hmm, and keep New Year's resolutions, and stop talking total nonsense to strangers - in fact, stop talking, full stop"
  • she happened to overhear Mark complaining to his mother (Charmian May) about being set up: "Mother, I do not need a blind date. Particularly not with some verbally incontinent spinster who smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish, and dresses like her mother"; Bridget mused to herself: "That was the moment. I suddenly realized that unless something changed soon, I was going to live a life where my major relationship was with a bottle of wine and I'd finally die fat and alone..." as the title credits began to play to the tune of "All By Myself" by Jamie O'Neal
  • she vowed to keep a record for the next year as her New Years' resolution - to document her progress in a diary about reaching all of her personal goals to attain a more perfect life (finding a boyfriend, losing weight, and drinking and smoking less); Bridget wrote in her diary (voice-over): "I had to make sure that next year, I wouldn't end up s--t-faced and listening to sad FM, easy-listening for the over-thirties. I decided to take control of my life and start a diary to tell the truth about Bridget Jones, the whole truth. Resolution #1: Oh - obviously will lose 20 lbs. #2: Always put last night's panties in the laundry basket. Equally important: will find nice sensible boyfriend to go out with and not continue to form romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional f--kwits, or perverts. And especially will not fantasize about a particular person who embodies all these things. Unfortunately, he just happens to be my boss..."
  • against her lofty intentions, Bridget decided to pursue her rakish, disreputable and sleazy editor-in-chief publisher boss Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant), an "office scoundrel," who sent her provocative and vulgar emails ("Like your tits in that top"); she even fantasized marrying him, and then he invited her to a dinner date that she put off but eventually accepted; she sought advice for the date and was told to look "gorgeous" and to "ooze intelligence"; she prepped herself with a pedicure, shower, self-waxing, and choice of "granny" panties -- "scary stomach-holding-in panties"

Bridget's Choice of "Granny" Panties for Her Date with Daniel

Bridget's Awkward and Rambling Book-Launch Speech
  • before her evening's date, she attended her publishing house's book launch where she happened to see Mark again, and imagined describing him as "a prematurely middle-aged prick"; Mark introduced Bridget to his condescending law colleague Natasha Glenville (Embeth Davidtz), a top family law attorney, and then snidely remarked about Bridget: "Bridget works in publishing and used to play naked in my paddling pool"; at the book launch event, Bridget spoke before the audience (with a malfunctioning microphone) to announce "Kafka's Motorbike" - advertised as the "Greatest Book of Our Time" - and delivered an awkward, semi-insulting, rambling speech; when introducing Daniel's boss Mr. Fitzherbert (Paul Brooke), she mispronounced his name as "Tits Pervert"; afterwards, Daniel falsely claimed Bridget had exhibited "oratorical fireworks" and complimented her on her "very sexy" look
  • during dinner, Bridget explained how she knew Mark: "Apparently, I used to run 'round naked in his paddling pool" - Daniel quipped: "I bet you did, you dirty bitch"; then he revealed an on-going rivalry between Mark and himself, who were "mates" who had attended Cambridge University together; however, many years later, Daniel claimed that he had made a "somewhat catastrophic mistake" of introducing Mark to his fiancée - without providing any further details; they agreed that Mark was a "bastard"
  • after their dinner date (and some kissing), they retreated to Daniel's place where the film's funniest scene occurred; Bridget's special tummy-holding-in pants (called "enormous") were embarrassingly uncovered while she and Daniel were kissing and rolling around on the floor; however, Daniel told her that he liked them: "Now these are very silly little boots, Jones. And this is a very silly little dress. And, um, these are, uhm, f--k me, absolutely enormous panties...No, no. Don't apologize. I like them. Hello, Mummy (they kiss). I'm sorry, I have to have another look. They're too good to be true...They're nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm wearing something quite similar myself"
  • for the next few days, they were regular sex-partners sleeping together, and Bridget worried if they would be noticed differently at the office; when the phone rang (it was her mother), she jokingly answered: "Bridget Jones, wanton sex goddess with a very bad man between her thighs"
  • Bridget felt that she had finally found her man (voice-over: "Hurrah. Am no longer tragic spinster, but proper girlfriend of bona fide sex god so committed that he's taking me on a full-blown mini-break holiday weekend"; Daniel took Bridget to a country inn, and she turned hopeful: (voice-over: "This can't be just shagging. A mini-break means true love. Suddenly feel like screen goddess in manner of Grace Kelly"); two of the guests at the inn turned out, unfortunately, to be Mark and Natasha taking a "work" weekend; that evening, when Bridget asked twice if Daniel loved her, he refused to answer and implied that he would have "illegal" sex (oral or anal sex?) with her a second time as punishment
  • on Sunday morning, Daniel left early with a questionable excuse that he had to return to London for work, leaving Bridget alone to attend a "Tarts and Vicars" costume party wearing a Playboy bunny costume; she thought to herself as she walked in: "Seems unnatural, wrong even, for 60-year-olds to dress up as prostitutes and priests on a Sunday afternoon"; she immediately realized she was out-of-place with no one else in costume since she wasn't notified that the costume contest had been cancelled; she received many insults, aghast laughter and abrasive looks for her sexy outfit
  • when she returned to London in the afternoon, she was suspicous that Daniel had a female visitor and asked: "Is there someone here?", but Daniel denied having any company; she agreed to meet up with him later for dinner, but then found an incriminating pink sweater in the hallway; she returned to Daniel's upstairs bathroom and found a naked Lara (Lisa Barbuscia), an American colleague from the New York office; she was seated on the edge of Daniel's bathtub with just an oversized book (Pemberley Press) covering her; Daniel had been caught red-handed - cheating; Lara insultingly asked Daniel: "I thought you said she was thin"
  • Bridget was devastated and ended up on her couch watching Glenn Close becoming an obsessed, homicidal 'wronged woman' in Fatal Attraction (1987); switching the TV channel, she tuned into a nature show exhibiting a male lion penetrating a female lioness and then walking off; back at work, Bridget was told by Daniel that he had known Lara previously, and that they were now engaged; Bridget vowed to herself that she would stay strong: "I will not be defeated by a bad man and an American stick insect. Instead, I choose vodka and Chaka Khan"; a montage of Bridget working out and carrying on with her life (discarding and buying a new set of self-help books) was viewed to the tune of Chaka Khan's "I'm Every Woman"
  • Bridget decided to find new work in television (and proceeded to attend job interviews) and also to break ties with Daniel; when he claimed she needed to give six weeks' notice before quitting and was offered promotions to stay, she refused to accept any deals with Daniel: "But if staying here means working within 10 yards of you, frankly, I'd rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein's arse"; to the tune of Aretha Franklin's "Respect," she walked off the job
  • while on a live-feed TV reporting assignment for "Sit Up Britain" at the Lewisham fire-station, Bridget was instructed to wear make-up, dress in a mini-skirt, wear a fireman's helmet, hold a hose, and slide down a fire pole; during filming, she descended butt-first into the camera, knocking down the cameraman and providing a quick glimpse of her panties; she felt she was a "national laughing-stock" for the gross view of her fat behind descending the pole
  • on another occasion when Bridget attended a dinner party of smug married couples (including Mark with Natasha), she was the only single person invited; after being asked to confirm that she had broken up with her publishing chap, she was given unexpected advice by the married Cosmo (Mark Lingwood): "Never dip your nib in the office ink"; he also condescendingly urged her to get a man because "time's a-running out - tick-tock!"
  • when Mark spoke with Bridget privately as she was leaving, he stated his delight that she had broken up with the detested Daniel; he claimed he didn't consider her an "idiot" at all, but then listed all of the "ridiculous" elements he didn't like about Bridget, such as being "an appallingly bad public speaker," and someone who often tended to blurt out whatever was in her head "without much consideration of the consequences"; but then he repeated his "inarticulate" claim that he liked her alot: "In fact, perhaps, despite appearances, I like you very much"; she retorted back: "Ah, apart from the smoking and the drinking, and the vulgar mother and the verbal diarrhea," but he interrupted and again affirmed that he liked her: "I like you very much just as you are"; disbelieving, Bridget told her friends: "I hate him"
  • Bridget prepared the food over a four hour period at her house to celebrate her birthday with friends at a multi-course dinner party: ("A feast of blue soup, omelet, and marmalade"); before the other guests arrived, Mark appeared and Bridget asked him: "Did I really run round your lawn naked?" and he remembered: "Oh, yes. You were four, and I was eight" - something she considered: "quite pervy really"; he volunteered to help prepare the meal and they became better acquainted; during dinner, one of Bridget's friends asked: "Mark, why did your wife leave you?" - but he didn't answer
  • things took a bad turn when a drunken Daniel arrived, pulled Bridget aside, and tried to win Bridget back: "I can't stop thinking about you, and thinking what a f--king idiot I've been...I'm a terrible disaster with a posh voice and a bad character. You're the only one who can save me, Bridge"; he explained how Lara had dumped him - "She realized that I hadn't got over you. I know you're thinking, it's just a sex thing, but I promise you, whenever I see that skimpy little skirt on TV, I just close my eyes and listen to all the intelligent things you've said"
  • the two rivals Mark and Daniel challenged each other to a brutal fist-fight out that was fought in the street, inside a Greek restaurant, and then outside again; from the sidelines, Bridget wasn't clear who to support, especially when one male friend noted that Mark "shagged Daniel's fiancée and left him broken hearted"
  • Mark left after punching Daniel one final time to the ground, and as he was leaving, he was shocked when Bridget chastised him: ("You're just as bad as the rest of them"); Daniel then appealed to her to take him back: "Come on. We belong together, Jones, me, you, poor little skirt. If I can't make it with you, then I can't make it with anyone"; she rejected his rude and insulting offer: ("That's not a good enough offer for me. I'm not willing to gamble my whole life on someone, who's well, not quite sure. It's like you said. I'm still looking for something more extraordinary than that")
  • shortly later just before the Darcys' ruby wedding party, Bridget's mother off-handedly asserted that Daniel was found on Christmas Eve with Mark's Japanese wife "in a most unorthodox position, stark naked, a tit like rabbits"
  • at the party, Bridget approached Mark to confirm why he and Daniel had a falling-out during their university days. Daniel had lied by always claiming that Mark had run off with his fiancee and left him broken-hearted. She apologized for despising Mark for the wrong reasons, and Mark told her that the truth was reversed: (Mark: "No, it was the other way around. It was my wife, my heart"); it now made sense to Bridget why the two men had always been engaged in a strange rivalry and why Mark "beat him to a pulp: ("That's why you always acted so strangely around him and beat him to a pulp, quite rightly. Well done")
  • Bridget then told Mark how she truly felt about him and his sideburns: "You once said you liked me just as I am and I just wanted to say likewise. I mean there are stupid things your mum buys you, tonight's another classic. You're haughty, and you always say the wrong thing in every situation and I seriously believe that you should rethink the length of your sideburns. But, you're a nice man and I like you. If you wanted to pop by some time that might be nice, more than nice"
  • by now, however, the relationship between Bridget and Mark appeared to be over and he was preparing to be engaged to Natasha, his "brilliant partner-in-law" and they had both taken jobs in New York at Abbott and Abbott; during the ruby wedding party, Mark's father toasted their engagement to the tune of "Here Comes the Bride"; Bridget interrupted with a halting plea for Mark to not leave England: "No, No! It's just that it's such a terrible pity for England to lose such a great legal brain...For the people of England, like me and you, to lose one of our top people. Uh, just top person, really...Well, better dash. I've got another party to go to. It's single people. Mainly poofs. Bye"; the tune of Gabrielle's "Out of Reach" played
  • in the film's conclusion as Gabrielle's "Out of Reach" played, Bridget was surprised by her three friends with a planned weekend trip to Paris, to get her to forget about Mark (considered "the most dreadful cold fish"); the friends asked: "Has he ever actually stuck his f--king tongue down your f--king throat?", she confirmed that he hadn't; but then Mark suddenly appeared behind Bridget outside her flat, complimenting her for her earlier speech: "I just wanted to know if you were available for bar mitzvahs and christenings as well as ruby weddings. Excellent speech"; he informed her that he wasn't going to reside in America, and had returned home unexpectedly because he had forgotten something - he had come to kiss Bridget goodbye; she was utterly taken aback by his straight-forward request
  • Bridget hurriedly dismissed her friends and invited Mark into her upstairs apartment; she told him: "Keep yourself busy, read something" while she was changing her clothes in her bedroom, and promised: "I'll be right with you." She expectantly told herself: "Definitely an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers." As she put on sexier underwear, he happened to scan through her diary and glimpsed a series of insults that she had written about him. He was dismayed by her critical assessment of him - that he was boring and dull: "Mum was really scraping the barrel, with Mark Darcy. He acts like he's got a giant gherkin thrust up his backside...But let's face it. Mark Darcy is rude, he's unpleasant, he's DULL - no wonder his clever wife left him. I hate him. I HATE HIM!"
  • when Bridget returned, she saw that he had abruptly departed into the snowy night and didn't respond to her calls out to him; she realized he had read her negative words about him and began swearing: "Oh, s--t. Double s--t. Bollocks!"; realizing why he had left and to prevent him from leaving for the last time, she ran after him into the snowy street, wearing only running shoes, a purple lingerie top, an ill-fitting beige sweater and leopard-striped panties; at first, she couldn't locate him, but fortunately, he reappeared; she caught up to him in the street as he left a store, when she told him that her diary was foolish: "I am so sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. Well, I meant it, but I was so stupid that I didn't mean what I meant. For Christ's sakes. It's only a diary. Everyone knows diaries are just full of crap"; during her ranting, he was silent, but then he replied: "I know that. I was just buying you a new one (in order) to make a new start, perhaps."
  • he revealed a new diary from his coat pocket, bought for her to begin a new diary; she embraced him as they hungrily kissed, while passers-by watched in amusement on the street corner; to the tune of Van Morrison's "Someone Like You" and in the midst of a series of kisses during snow flurries, she pondered: "Wait a minute. Nice boys don't kiss like that"; he responded: "Oh yes they f--kin' do!" (and he wrapped her up in his coat)

Mark's Ugly Reindeer Christmas Sweater

Bridget's New Years Resolution - To Keep a Diary of Progress

Bridget Fantasizing Over Marrying Daniel

Mark's Law Colleague-Girlfriend Natasha (Embeth Davidtz)

Bridget's Dinner Date with Daniel

After Dinner, Daniel with Bridget and Her "Enormous" Panties

Sex-Partners With Daniel for a Few Days

Bridget Calling Herself a "Wanton Sex Goddess"

Bridget in a Playboy Bunny Outfit for "Tarts & Vicars" Costume Party

Lara From the NY Office Naked in Daniel's Upstairs Bathroom

After Bridget's Embarrassing Slide Down a Fireman's Pole

Mark Listing Off Things He Didn't Like About Bridget, Although He Claimed That He Liked Her "Just as you are"

After a Fight With Mark, Daniel's Underhanded Insult of Bridget: "If I can't make it with you, I can't make it with anyone"

Bridget's Response: "That's not a good enough offer for me"

Bridget with Mark, Explaining Her Own Likes and Dislikes About Him - Including His Sideburns

Mark with Fiancee Natasha Glenville at the Darcys' Ruby Party

Bridget's Impromptu Speech Interrupting a Toast, When She Urged Mark to Not Marry Natasha

Mark Suddenly Appearing Outside Bridget's Flat

Mark and Bridget Kissing On the Snowy Street

Bringing Up Baby (1938)

  • director Howard Hawks' classic and definitive screwball comedy highlighted the comedic antics and "misadventures" between shy, bespectacled paleontologist David Huxley (Cary Grant) and scatter-brained, fast-talking eccentric heiress Susan Vance (Katharine Hepburn) [Note: It was remade in homage as Peter Bogdanovich's What's Up, Doc? (1972) with Barbra Streisand and Ryan O'Neal]
  • in the film's opening, the mild-mannered David was high up on a scaffolding working in the Stuyvesant Museum of Natural History to assemble a Brontosaurus skeleton (but he was missing only a single bone about to finally be delivered - an "intercostal clavicle"); he was preoccupied by his stiff and bossy co-worker and bride-to-be Miss Alice Swallow (Virginia Walker) who he would marry the following day, and an impending $1 million dollar donation
  • that afternoon, David had an appointment to play golf with Mr. Alexander Peabody (George Irving), a lawyer who represented a wealthy, gift-giving philanthropist-sponsor; Peabody would supervise Mrs. Elizabeth Carlton Random (May Robson), aka Aunt Elizabeth, and her proposed donation to complete the construction of the hall
  • during his golf game on the course, the bumbling David encountered the mad-cap, flighty Susan Vance, Mrs. Random's niece, who wrongly claimed that his golf ball was hers; she also drove away in his battered car as he pursued her and called out to his golf partner: ("I'll be with you in a minute, Mr. Peabody!")
  • in the next sequence set at a fashionable supper nightclub in the Ritz Plaza Hotel, a tuxedoed, black top-hatted David arrived to meet Mr. Peabody for dinner to discuss the million dollar grant; Susan was also present, showing off an "olive game" that she learned from a bartender -- she held an olive on the flat part of her hand, tapped her hand, and then caught the airborne olive in her mouth; walking by, the unsuspecting David slipped and took a pratfall on the olive she just dropped on the floor
  • a rapid exit from the supper club ensued - to cover up David's torn tuxedo and her ripped evening dress; it was expedited as he walked in unison close behind her, covered her posterior and saved her reputation; outside, David confessed his fixation on Susan: "Now it isn't that I don't like you, Susan, because after all, in moments of quiet I'm strangely drawn toward you, but well, there haven't been any quiet moments. Our relationship has been a series of misadventures from beginning to end...", before he sprawled face-first onto the ground
  • when Susan offered to drive him to her Aunt's Connecticut farm on the day of his scheduled marriage to Alice, he wasn't aware that she had a music-loving, 3 year-old tame pet leopard named Baby that she planned to bring along in the car. He was also forced to bring along a package containing the all-important "intercostal clavicle bone" for the brontosaurus reconstruction that he was working on
  • during their drive to her Aunt Elizabeth's farm in Westlake, Connecticut, with her 3 year-old pet leopard Baby in the back seat - and along the way after Susan rear-ended a truck carrying a load of chickens, Baby got away and attacked fluttering poultry (off-screen) in the chicken coop; covered with chicken feathers, David fumed - annoyed that he had to pay for Baby's expensive meal - "an assortment of ducks and chickens, not to mention a couple of swans" that cost him $150
  • in a funny scene, David purchased 30 lbs. of raw sirloin steak (in one piece) at a market from a bewildered butcher for the hungry animal
  • fluffy negligee-wearing David admitted his strange appearance ("I don't know, I'm not quite myself today"); he also sarcastically exclaimed in front of Susan's rich Aunt Elizabeth as he jumped into the air while dressed in the fluffy and frilly negligee (Susan's dressing gown): "Because I just went gay all of a sudden"; Susan explained to her Aunt that David was a friend of her brother's from Brazil and that David was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, he quipped: "I'm a nut from Brazil"
  • further upset arose when David's dinosaur bone was stolen by Susan's aunt's dog George (Asta of The Thin Man series) and buried somewhere on the grounds
  • during a long chase in the woods after an escaped Baby, Susan carried a butterfly net while David was prepared with a rope and croquet mallet; they found Baby sitting on a neighbor's roof - to calm the tame leopard and attract him down off the roof, they serenaded Baby with his favorite and fondest song, "I Can't Give You Anything But Love, Baby"; after causing a disturbance, the two were reported by the home owner Dr. Fritz Lehman (Fritz Feld) and thrown in the local jail by Constable Slocum (Walter Catlett)
  • during a major incarceration scene in adjacent jail cells in the Westlake City Jail, Susan fancifully pretended to be a gangster moll (a member of the 'Leopard Gang,' infamous for robberies and other criminal activities); suddenly, another leopard (not Baby but a murderous escaped animal from the circus) appeared - it was a case of mistaken leopard identity; Susan dragged the angry and spitting wild leopard into the jailhouse at the end of a rope; stepping in front of her with a chair, David heroically defended her from the vicious leopard and chased it into an empty jail cell
  • in the climactic finale, the missing dog-buried bone was to be returned by Susan, and Alice broke up with David; in the museum, Susan arrived to see David, and found him attempting to reconstruct the brontosaurus skeleton high up on a platofrm; Susan and David found themselves swaying and dangling from the crumbling and collapsing scaffolding platform; she apologized to David: ("Oh David, look what I've done. Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, oh, David, can you ever forgive me? You can and you still love me...You do, oh David"), and he replied during their final kiss and embrace: ("Oh, dear. Oh, my. Hmmm")

An Interrupted Golf Game with Mr. Peabody

David Covering Up Susan's Ripped Dress

'Baby' (Susan's Pet Leopard) in Back Seat

David: "I just went gay all of a sudden"

Serenading 'Baby' With "I Can't Give You Anything But Love, Baby"

The Westlake City Jail

Collapse of Brontosaurus Skeleton

Broadcast News (1987)

  • James L. Brooks' romantic comedy/satire of TV news (with commentary on the issue of style vs. substance) opened with an ironic prologue illustrating the formative childhoods of a trio of future broadcast news professionals; the two male TV reporters would become romantic rivals for the love of the female producer at the same news network where they worked together in Washington DC:
    • young Tom Grunick (Kimber Shoop) spoke to his father Gerald Grunick (Stephen Mendillo) in 1963 about his good looks: "What can you do with yourself when all you can do is look good"
    • in the future, Tom Grunick (William Hurt) turned out to be a handsome, airhead, narcisistic, charismatic, and slightly dumb news anchor
    • young Aaron Altman (Dwayne Markee) was 15 at his high school graduation in 1965, and beaten up afterwards by older upperclassmen; he tried to insult the bullies assaulting him: "Go ahead Steven. Take your last licks! But this will heal! What I'm going to say can never be erased! It'll scar you forever! Ready? Here it is. You'll never make more than $19,000 a year!"
    • in the future, Aaron Altman (Albert Brooks) turned out to be a socially-insecure, serious, uncharismatic, and gifted intelligent network news reporter
    • young Jane Craig (Gennie James) was engaged in a wordy argumentative discussion with her father (Leo Burmester) over the word 'obsessive' in 1968: ("Dad, you want me to choose my words so carefully, then you throw a word like 'obsessive' at me. Now, unless I'm wrong, please correct me if I am. But obsession is practically a psychiatric term concerning people who don't have anything else but the object of their own obsession, who can't stop and do anything else. Well, here I am stopping to tell you this, OK, so would you please try and be a little bit more precise instead of calling a person something like 'obsessive'? Good night")
    • in the future in 1981, Jane Craig (Holly Hunter) turned out to be a fussy, driven, intense, forthright and strident network news producer
Young Future Professionals

Tom Grunick

Aaron Altman

Jane Craig
  • wacky news assistant director Blair Litton (Joan Cusack) painfully rushed to get a finished tape to the control booth in time for broadcast - running into a garbage can and a file cart, slipping on papers under an opened file drawer, jumping over a toddler and her mother, and slamming into a hallway water fountain
  • in one of the film's key scenes, during a special live news report on a Libyan attack on a US military base in Sicily (Italy), Tom was clueless and unable to function on-camera during a live-breaking broadcast without a teleprompter; with the assistance of highly-qualified but nervous and undervalued Aaron on the phone, the quick-thinking Jane cleverly fed Tom information via his earpiece; afterwards, the exhilarated Tom gleefully responded with thanks to Jane at her desk: ("You're an amazing woman. What a feeling having you inside my head... It's like indescribable -- you knew just when to feed me the next line, you knew the second before I needed it. There was like a rhythm we got into... it was like great sex!"); over time, Jane was becoming infatuated with Tom
  • in an apres-sex scene with the handsome but vacuous and nude Tom, reporter Jennifer Mack (Lois Chiles) playfully asked about his prominent penis shadow in silhouette after sleeping with him, as she laughed: "Do you do bunny rabbits?"; earlier, he had told her about her open clothes closet: "You can see everything you have"
  • in his debut appearance as the anchor of the weekend news while Jane and Tom attended the White House Correspondents' Dinner together, the uncharismatic and nervous Aaron began to sweat profusely ("flop sweat") as he read the news; a producer commented: "This is more than Nixon ever sweated"; Aaron gave an aside as the news went to a commercial after he reported: " least 22 people dead" - "I wish I were one of them"
  • Jane and Tom left the dinner party to share a romantic moment on the steps of the Jefferson Memorial; they embraced and passionately kissed when he suggested sex to her in obvious terms: "I've been wondering what it'd be like to be inside all that energy"; to cool their passion, Jane excused herself to go and console Aaron for his disastrous TV debut
The Jealous Aaron to Jane: Comparing Tom to the Devil
  • Aaron, who was in unrequited love with Jane, met with Jane after his disastrous weekend news appearance and made a desperate attempt to dissuade Jane from a relationship with the media-friendly, vacuous-headed Tom by comparing him to the devil, and by admitting his own love for her: "Tom, while being a very nice guy, is the devil...I'm semi-serious here...He will be attractive, he'll be nice and helpful...He'll never do an evil thing. He'll never deliberately hurt a living thing. He'll just bit by little bit lower our standards where they're important. Just a tiny little bit. Just coax along. Flash over substance...And he'll get all the great women"; Jane accused Aaron of being the devil, but he countered that her assertion was impossible: ("You know I'm not...Because I think we have the kind of friendship where if I were the Devil, you'd be the only one I would tell...Give me this. He personifies everything you've been fighting against - And I'm in love with you. How do ya like that? I buried the lead")
  • as a result of the TV news station's restructuring, budget cuts and multiple layoffs, Jane was appointed as the replacement for bureau chief Ernie Merriman (Robert Prosky), and Tom was promoted to work in the network office in London, while the dejected-feeling Aaron quietly resigned to take a local anchor position in Portland, Oregon; during Tom's transition period, he and Jane planned to take a romantic getaway vacation together
  • before leaving, Jane met up with the embittered Aaron in a difficult farewell scene, when he made a sour-grapes prediction of Jane's future when she asked what would happen to their relationship as friends: "Anyway, I'll be walking along with my wife and my two lovely children and we'll bump into you. And my youngest son will say something, and I will tell him it's not nice to make fun of single, fat ladies"

Aaron's Prediction of Jane's Future

Tom's Faked Tears - On Cue

Jane's Airport Rejection of Tom For His Fakery
  • Jane felt tremendous anguish and anger when Aaron informed her that Tom had unethically faked tears in a cutaway shot during an earlier, emotionally-powerful date-rape interview; Jane confronted Tom at the airport about the phony staging - "It made me...ILL...You can get fired for things like that...(Tom's retort: "I've gotten promoted for things like that!") You totally crossed the line"; she told him that they were so mismatched that she would not join him for a vacation during her time-off
  • in the film's poignant epilogue set in the present day of 1987 about seven years later, the trio reunited at a broadcasting conference; both men were happily married with others (and Jane was in a strong relationship); Jane revealed that she would again be working alongside national anchor Tom in New York as a managing editor; the film concluded with a pull-back shot of Jane and Aaron reminiscing in the rain under a gazebo

News Assistant Blair Running with Videotape - Water Cooler Collision

After Tom Was Fed Information By Jane During a Live Broadcast, he told her: "It was like great sex!"

Work Colleague Jennifer Mack (Lois Chiles) - "Do you do bunny rabbits?"

Tom's Penis Shadow

Aaron's Profuse Sweating: "This is More than Nixon Ever Sweated"

Tom and Jane's Passionate Kiss

Film's Ending: Jane and Aaron in Gazebo

Broadway Danny Rose (1984)

  • in director Woody Allen's comedy, hapless one-man, NYC theatrical talent agent Danny Rose (Woody Allen) and Italian-American singer Lou Canova's (Nick Apollo Forte) brassy blonde mistress Tina Vitale (Mia Farrow) had been paired together; Lou had arranged for Danny to pretend to "be the beard" as Tina's date for Lou's performance at the Waldorf, so that it wouldn't arouse suspicions from Lou's jealous wife Teresa (Sandy Richman)
  • however, the crooner and Tina had a fight, resulting in Tina's refusal to attend Lou's performance; she returned to her ex-Mafioso boyfriend Johnny Rispoli (Edwin Bordo), who jealously presumed that Danny was Tina's new love interest; Johnny's mother (Gina DeAngelis) declared a vendetta against Danny, and sent her two sons Vito (Paul Greco) and Joe Rispoli (Frank Renzulli) to eliminate him
  • armed Rispoli mob hoods chased Danny and Tina as they attempted to escape from a remote warehouse that was used to store giant floats and balloons for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day; when one of them shot a hole in a helium tank used to fill the balloons, it caused the three of them to shout at each other in high-pitched, cartoonish Munchkin-like voices: (Hood: "Don't move or I'll blow your god-damned brains out"; Danny: "Don't shoot, don't shoot, I'm just a beard. really"; Tina: "You're making a mistake, he's just a beard"; Hood: "Don't tell me you're the beard, you god-damned little rat, you"; Danny: "Run, Tina, run! He's outta bullets! It's our chance! Tina, it's our chance! He's outta bullets!"; Tina: "All right, all right, I'm coming!")

Helium Tank Leaking Gas

Danny: "Don't shoot, don't shoot"

Bruce Almighty (2003)

  • in director Tom Shadyac's fanciful comedy during the opening title credits, a discontented Buffalo NY WKBW-TV field reporter, Bruce Nolan (Jim Carrey) was only assigned to cover the worst, most superficial and inconsequential lightweight stories; as he was reporting at Mama and Vol Kowolski's (Lillian Adams and Christopher Darga) downtown bakery shop on its 30th anniversary and was forced - for health reasons - to wear a hair-net; he asked himself: "God, why do you hate me?"; he interviewed the Kowolskis who were attempting to set a record by making Buffalo's largest cookie at 10 feet, 4 inches; he mentioned that the cookie represented "the Price of Buffalo" and ended his pleasant, humorous local report with his signature closing line: "And that's the way the cookie crumbles, I'm Bruce Nolan, Eyewitness News"
  • afterwards, Bruce complained to his sweet girlfriend Grace (Jennifer Aniston) about his stagnant job: "I'll never be an anchcorman, not with this. The job's right there, but I can't reach it. Because every time they make me do this kind of stuff, I have to act like a total goof in order to make it work. I have no credibility"; at work, he appealed to his station's boss, Jack Baylor (Philip Baker Hall) to be seriously considered for the open news anchor position, challenging his nemesis - the "favorite" Evan Baxter (Steve Carrell)
Bruce's On-Camera Breakdown at Niagara Falls After Losing the Lead News Anchor Position ("Eroding, eeeeroding, eeeeerodding")
  • during Bruce's reporting of a story at Niagara Falls while on the Maid of the Mist ferry, the station announced that Evan had been appointed as the replacement news anchor; on-camera, the freaked-out Bruce suffered a complete nervous breakdown; he insulted Evan ("Let me just add another congratulations to Evan Backstabber - pardon me, Bastard. Baxter, rather"), expressed his disbelief: ("I guess that's how life is, isn't it? Some people are drenched, freezing to death, on a stupid boat, with a stupid hat, while others are in a comfy news studio, sucking up all the glory"), and then verbally abused Bill (Dan Desmond), the ferry owner: ("Tell me, why do you think I didn't get the anchor job?...Is it my hair, Bill? Are my teeth not white enough? Or, like the great falls, is the bedrock of my life eroding beneath me? Eroding, eeeeroding, eeeeerodding"); he ended his report with a fist and obscene sign-off: "Back to you, f--kers!"; when he returned to the office, he was immediately fired and thrown out the door - literally, and shouted as he laid on his back: "That is perfect! That is the motivation that i needed! right there! thank you! Thank you, WKBW! Wimpy Kiddy Baby Whiners! That's what that stands for! I'll see you on Channel 5, where they do the real news!"
  • to remedy his life's failures and disappointments, the disgruntled Bruce complained to God (Morgan Freeman), first envisioned as a black janitor in a large empty warehouse, who then was transformed into God in a brightly-lit room - wearing a white suit and tie; although Bruce was skeptical, God revealed to him a long expanding file cabinet representing all of Bruce's life; Bruce then played a guessing game with fingers behind his back - and was shocked to see his own hand with "seven" fingers
  • Bruce made the outrageous accusation that he could perform God's job better: ("Fine! The gloves are off, God! C'mon, lemme see a little wrath! Smite me, O mighty smiter! You're the one who should be fired! The only one around here not doing his job is You! ANSWER ME!"); he was offered the chance of trying to be God himself for one week, but later learned that there were two major rules - he couldn't tell anyone that he had God's powers, and he couldn't interfere with free will
  • Bruce experimented with his newfound powers in a local diner, when he attempted to part the tomato soup in his bowl in front of him - and it worked; God suddenly appeared next to him and asked: "Having fun?"; as he strutted down the street to the tune of "The Power!" ("I've got the power"), he commanded a fire hydrant to burst and it explosively sprayed water; he was also able to swap clothes with a fashionably-dressed mannequin in a store window
  • after Bruce came upon a gang of bullies that had beaten him up earlier, he decided to teach them a lesson when they wouldn't apologize to him (the hood leader (Noel Gugliemi) told Bruce: "We'll apologize the day a monkey comes out of my butt. Then you get your 'sorry'. How about that?"); Bruce vengefully used his powers to actually have a monkey painfully emerge from the leader's back end
  • Bruce realized that he would somehow have to answer millions of prayers from worshippers; his first idea was to create a system to receive the prayers by organizing all of them into file cabinets; since it wasn't a "space-saver" idea and was too noticeable, his next bright idea was to create Prayer Post-Its, but again, he and the entire room were immediately plastered with the yellow post-its; his final idea was to use an online solution: "I need something with a lock, security, combination, a password" - and he developed a website titled: "YAHWEH" - an AOL-like computerized email-like system (Insta-Prayer) to receive the prayers
  • the most outrageous scene came when Bruce sent powerful "pleasurable" mental sensations into his girlfriend Grace Connelly's mind; she experienced a 'no-contact' uncontrollable, mental orgasm without human touch; while alone in her bathroom with intense sexual arousal through his mental powers, she moaned as she fell back on the toilet seat: "Oh, my God! Ooh!...Oh, God! Oh, Good God!"; she appeared from the bathroom bedraggled, sex-hungry and ready for more - and received a body-slam down into the bed; the camera moved outside their one-bedroom apartment to view their flickering lights and listen to Grace's continued loud moans of sexual bliss

Grace's Entirely "Mental" Orgasm Created by Bruce

Grace Asking Bruce About Her Breasts: "Do they look bigger to you?"
  • during breakfast the next morning, Grace observed that her breasts had grown larger overnight (she asked: "I woke up this morning and I felt like, like my boobs were bigger. I mean, do they look bigger to you?"); Evan responded with a double-entendre reply: "This has been the breast beckf..."
  • with his newfound powers, Bruce was able to solve the Jimmy Hoffa murder case and locate his missing body, and he also forced a damaging meteor to harmlessly land near a cook-off; he received the nickname "Mr. Exclusive" and was rewarded with his old reporting job - he realized that he was now reporting on better, late-breaking news stories
  • using his special powers, during the first anchor broadcast of the Eyewitness News at 6 by Evan - his newly-promoted, obnoxious co-anchor rival, the vengeful Bruce was able to sabotage and disrupt the show; he managed to modify Evan's voice; in addition, Bruce pantomimed typing in alternative news-copy into the teleprompter, causing Evan to say: "In other news: The prime-minister of Sweden visited Washington today, and my tiny little nipples went to France," followed by other ridiculous lines: "The White House reception committee greeted the prime rib roast minister and I do the cha-cha like a sissy girl. I lika do da cha-cha"; Bruce also perfectly lip-synched Evan's voice with complete and hilarious gibberish, and made some embarrassing fart noises (from his own underarm), thought to come from Evan
Bruce's Sabotage of Evan's First News Broadcast
  • as a result, Evan was fired and Bruce was appointed as the new anchor; however, as expected, Bruce found that his efforts to be God backfired, for instance, when those who all offered prayers were granted their wishes, but this resulted in all those who prayed to win the lottery having winning numbers, but their prize money only amounted to $17 dollars apiece; during a conversation with God atop of Mt. Everest, Bruce admitted that his attempt at using God's power had destroyed many things and caused chaos, including the breakup of his relationship with Grace; he attempted to set things straight after realizing his mistaken use of God's powers, including making amends with Evan and restoring his job; in a state of despair and emotional anguish, he knelt in the middle of the road to pray to ask God to take back his powers - and was hit head-on by an oncoming truck

Bruce Awakening in a Hospital After Life-Threatening Accident

Reconciled with Grace in the Hospital
  • following the accident, Bruce met with God in the clouds and learned how to pray; he selflessly begged and prayed that his estranged girlfriend Grace would find someone to make her happy ("I want her to be happy. No matter what that means. I want her to find someone to treat her with all the love that she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who’ll see her always as I do now through your eyes")
  • suddenly, he was back at the accident scene being treated by EMTs and then he woke up in a hospital, where the doctor told him that he was lucky to be alive: "Someone up there must like you"; he noticed he was receiving a transfusion of life-saving AB Positive Blood (Grace's blood type), just before she arrived and reconciled with him
  • in the final bookending scene, Bruce was back doing light-weight fluff reporting at the American Red Cross "Be the Miracle" Blood Drive, telling his viewers: "It’s a B-E-A-UTIFUL day"; earlier in the film, he had expressed his reluctance about donating blood: ("They’re not touching me with no needle!... It’s blood. Blood is supposed to stay inside the body. That’s how it’s meant to be"), but now he announced to the crowd that he was engaged to Grace as Mrs. Exclusive before they went off to donate blood

Bruce Nolan (Jim Carrey) Reporting on Superficial Stories for WKBW-TV - Buffalo's Biggest Cookie

Bruce Practicing His Signature Sign-Off: "And that's the way the cookie crumbles"

Thrown Out of the WKBW-TV Offices Onto the Street After Being Fired

Bruce Atop His Own Life's Expanding File Cabinet

Bruce With God (Morgan Freeman) - Testing His Clairvoyant Abilities

Bruce (as God) Parting His Tomato Soup Like the Red Sea

"I've Got the Power"

Bruce's Revenge: Gang Leader Suffering as a Monkey Emerged From His Butt

Bruce Showered and Covered In Prayer Post-Its

Back to Reporting on a Blood Drive in the City with the Kowolskis

Bull Durham (1988)

  • writer/director Ron Shelton's feature debut was a humorous and intelligent romantic sports comedy-drama about a mediocre Carolina minor leagues baseball team - the Durham Bulls
  • during the film's opening title credits sequence, cultured and literate baseball and sports groupie Annie Savoy (Susan Sarandon), a junior-college English teacher and sexually-seductive baseball groupie, provided a lengthy, off-screen speech regarding her beloved team - the Durham Bulls of North Carolina; she described her offbeat 'life-as-baseball' beliefs in a celebrated "The Church of Baseball" monologue (sermon, actually) to the accompaniment of church organ music, as she was preparing to leave her house and walk downtown to the local Durham Bulls ballgame: ("I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions and most of the minor ones. I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. (sigh) But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never borin' (giggle) - which makes it like sex. There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. Makin' love is like hittin' a baseball. You just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hittin' under .250, unless he had a lot of RBIs or was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I've got a ballplayer alone, I'll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him. And the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. Of course, a guy'll listen to anything if he thinks it's foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe - and pretty. Of course, what I give them lasts a lifetime. What they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade, but bad trades are part of baseball. I mean, who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God's sake? It's a long season and you gotta trust it. I've tried 'em all, I really have. And the only church that truly feeds the soul - day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.")
  • after arriving at the ballpark, there were the typical sights and sounds surrounding the game; the new hotshot pitcher for the perennial losing team - the Durham Bulls; making his professional debut was moronic, erratic, dim-bulb young, up-and-coming rookie pitcher-ballplayer Ebby Calvin "Nuke" (or "Meat") LaLoosh (Tim Robbins); his wild pitches knocked down the bull mascot twice (throughout the film) and also sailed into the booth of the sports announcer
  • 12-year veteran journeyman baseball catcher "Crash" Davis (Kevin Costner) was being returned to the A-league to mentor the green young upstart LaLoosh; he had been acquired to teach the clueless LaLoosh (who was being groomed for the major leagues and was worth 100 grand) how to discipline his behavior and improve his concentration, including his erratic pitches
  • after the game, Crash and Laloosh were competing for dating prospects with Annie, both in a local country-western bar and in Annie's living room, where she proposed to "hook up with one guy a season"; she announced that she was deciding between them, but Crash was reluctant to "try out" for Annie as one of her draft picks; as Crash was leaving for the door, Annie asked: "What do you believe in, then?", and he gave a classic, memorable philosophical speech: ("Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hangin' curveball, high fiber, good Scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, over-rated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there oughta be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve. And I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Good-night.") - and Annie gave a breathless reply: "Oh my!"
  • after Crash left, Annie fooled Laloosh in her bedroom into being intellectually seduced by tying his wrists with ropes attached to her steel-framed headboard, and during his bondage, she read Walt Whitman poetry to him; she had made her choice for the season and told Crash: "I'm committed to Nuke for the season. You had your chance the other day"
  • during an extended road trip on a bus, Crash taught Nuke (now nicknamed "Meat") the lyrics to his butchered version of "Try a Little Tenderness" on the team bus (instead of "Young girls they do get wearied" he sang: "Young girls they do get woolly")
  • in the middle of the night, Crash (and three other players) took a taxi to the city's ballfield, and smashed through a metal gate barrier, found the water control valves for the field's sprinkler system, and soon the entire infield and outfield were deliberately flooded; they then played in the muddy, water-soaked ball field
  • as a way to combat Annie's choice of Nuke for the season, Crash convinced Nuke to rechannel his sexual energy into his pitching and away from her - depriving Annie of sexual fulfillment
  • later during a nightgame, the entire infield met on the pitcher's mound to discuss wedding gifts for the upcoming marriage of the team's devout Christian, Jimmy (William O'Leary) to amoral groupie Millie (Jenny Robertson), punctuated by irate fast-talking pitching coach Larry Hockett's (Robert Wuhl) suggestion: ("...candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern")
  • eventually, Annie began to realize that "Crash" might be a better-suited match for her sexual come-ons. She came to Crash's place and offered herself: "I want you," but when he declined, she flatly stated: "This is the damnedest season I've ever seen. I mean, the Durham Bulls can't lose, and I can't get laid"; she had a chance to sample his beliefs about three-day long kisses at the conclusion of the film when "Crash" was released from baseball playing altogether (although he might be a minor league manager) and he sought to retire with dignity. He looked up Annie and then over a drink, they kissed, and soon made love
  • their love scene during a weekend-long session was exaggerated - they rolled over, tumbled from the bed to the floor, still kissing and locked together, as she grabbed for traction from a nearby table leg - moaning and shaking. Their love-making was followed by a bowl of Wheaties ("Breakfast of Champions") in the kitchen; wearing his oversized sports jacket (while he wore one of her robes), she glowed at him:"God, you are gorgeous...You wanna dance?"; he tossed his cereal bowl into the sink where it smashed into pieces, and he pulled her onto the kitchen table, where they resumed making love after he answered: "Yes"; in the next scene, Annie's arms were tied to the bedpost, as she succumbed to having her toenails painted red by "Crash," and then they were in the bathtub together; they slept until early the next morning when Crash left her bed and wrote a goodbye note before driving off
  • by the end of the film, "Nuke" had been called up and promoted to the majors. Seen one last time and now wearing a T-shirt for the ska-punk band Fishbone, he was being interviewed by TV reporter Raye Anne in a baseball stadium, using words and cliches that Crash had taught him: ("...Anyway, a good friend of mine used to say, 'This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball. You hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Sometimes it rains.' Think about that for a while")

"I believe in the church of baseball"

Crash's Beliefs and Annie's Response: "Oh my!"

Pitching Mound Discussion

Annie with Crash

TV Reporter Interview

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)

  • in George Roy Hill's comedy-western, there was continual amusing banter throughout the film between two western legendary, train-robbing anti-hero outlaws Butch (Paul Newman) and the Sundance Kid (Robert Redford); the two were leaders of the Hole-in-the-Wall gang in Wyoming in the early 1900s
  • after an absence when the two returned to their hideout location, Butch found his leadership had been contested, and he was being challenged by brutish, Bowie-knife-wielding gang member Harvey Logan (Ted Cassidy); the unarmed Butch cleverly delayed the fight by distracting Harvey and arguing: "No, no, not yet, not until me and Harvey get the rules straightened out"; Harvey exclaimed: "Rules - in a knife fight? No rules!", when Butch swiftly kicks him in his crotch with a perfectly-aimed blow. The uprising was quickly suppressed as Harvey crumpled to his knees
  • after re-establishing command, Butch ironically co-opted Harvey's audacious plan to rob the Union Pacific Flyer twice on successive runs - they'll hit it in one direction and then hit it again on its return trip: "Nobody's done that to the Flyer before. No matter how much we got the first time, they'd figure the return was safe and load it up with money"
  • during the gang's train robbery, Butch implored the RR agent Woodcock (George Furth), the stubborn, 'patriotic', and loyal agent for E. H. Harriman, the President of the Railroad, to open the door and avoid getting hurt: "You're just gonna get yourself blown up if you don't open that door"; when Woodcock kept resisting, an explosive dynamite charge blew a large hole in the wall of the railroad car; the two were slightly concerned that Woodcock was injured
  • in town, as the Marshal (Kenneth Mars) vainly struggled to raise a posse to go after the gang, Butch and Sundance listened from the second floor balcony-porch of their favorite brothel/saloon (Fanny Porter's)
  • during a film interlude, both Butch and Sundance paid a visit with Sundance's 26 year-old lover, prim schoolmarm Etta Place (Katharine Ross); Sundance's surprise arrival occurred in her farmhouse bedroom when - in the sexy and surprising scene from the corner of the room, he ordered her to unbutton her blouse and undress in front of him at gunpoint; she briefly complied, but then chided him with a question and rebuke: "Do you know what I wish?...That once, you'd get here on time!"
"Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head" - Bicycle Ride
  • the next morning, Butch appeared outside their window riding one of a salesman's new-fangled bicycles of "the future" - with a melodramatic voice, he spoke: "You are mine, Etta Place. Mine. Do you hear me? Mine. All mine. Your soft white flesh is mine. Soft. White"; Butch tried out the latest newfangled invention, with Etta precariously perched on the handlebars, accompanied by Burt Bacharach's contemporary smash hit, the Award-winning song: "Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head"
  • their second robbery of the Union Pacific Flyer was less successful than the first; they again encountered stubborn, bruised and bandaged Woodcock guarding the safe; a loud, oversized female passenger (Jody Gilbert) protested the delays and bullied her way over to the robbers: "I'm a grandmother and a female and I've got my rights!"; cleverly using ventriloquism, they tricked Woodcock into opening the train door; however, the robbers used too much dynamite to open the reinforced safe and the tremendous blast blew pieces of paper money into the wind - Sundance laughingly joked: "Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?"
  • before the gang could gather up the money, a formidable Superposse of a half-dozen men on horseback swiftly exited from the side of the boxcar pulled by another locomotive - Butch sensed trouble and warned: "Whatever they're sellin', I don't want it!"; soon after, Butch and Sundance realized that they were being relentlessly pursued by the mysterious posse; Butch asked: "What's the matter with those guys?"; their strained banter during the chase was wryly humorous: (Butch: "I think we lost 'em. Do you think we lost 'em?" Sundance: "No." Butch: "Neither do I"), and Butch became worried as they were tracked: "I couldn't do that. Could you do that? How can they do that?"; Butch repeatedly asked the question: "Who are those guys?"
  • when eventually trapped and cornered on a dead-end cliff, Butch declared: "Kid - the next time I say, 'Let's go someplace like Bolivia,' let's go someplace like Bolivia." Sundance wryly responded: "Next time?"; Sundance also admitted: "I can't swim" (with Butch's guffawing retort: "Why, you crazy, the fall'll probably kill ya") and they made a big jump off the steep canyon ledge into the fast-moving river below while yelling a long and drawn out: "AWWWWW S-----T"

"Who are those guys?"

"I can't swim"

"AWWWWW S-----T"
Stranded on a Cliff and Jumping Into a River
  • after the two outlaws retreated to Etta's place, they decided to high-tail it to South America (Bolivia) ("wherever the hell Bolivia is"), believing it would be easy and safe living there; soon after, following a brief visit to NYC, the trio boarded a steamer to South America; the dapper-dressed trio stepped off a Bolivian train in a country village (Santa Ines) in the middle of a god-forsaken landscape, filled with llamas, pigs, piglets, chickens and adobe huts
  • the group (after learning some Spanish words) conducted a series of successful, clever and amusing heists, as Etta assisted them, while their outlaw reputation revived their status as hunted criminals, and wanted posters appeared for the arrest of the marked men - "Bandidos de los Estados Unidos"; for a short while, they reformed and went "straight," serving as payroll guards for a mining company to protect the transport of gold shipments from "payroll thieves", and employed by old prospector Percy Garris (Strother Martin); when forced to kill other bandits on the job, Sundance told Butch that their efforts to go straight had failed, and that the job proved more violent than robbing banks: "Well we've gone straight. What do we try now?"; knowing that their days were numbered, Etta decided to return to the U.S. ahead of them
  • with Etta gone, the two offbeat outlaws resorted to their old ways - robbing a payroll mule train, but the Bolivian constabulary - including a whole regiment of hundreds of Bolivian cavalry - was alerted to their presence; in the final sequence, the surrounded, wounded and doomed heroes, Yanqui banditos, joked and daydreamed: ("For a moment there, I thought we were in trouble") and then were caught at the point of death in a freeze-framed shootout in Bolivia (turning from color to sepia-toned)
Freeze-Framed Demise During Shootout

Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman)

The Sundance Kid (Robert Redford)

Harvey Logan (Ted Cassidy)

Butch's Knife Fight with Harvey Ending With a Crotch Kick

Etta Undressing at Gunpoint for Sundance

Woodcock Tricked Into Opening Train Door

Sundance: "...Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?"

Super-Posse Emerged From Private Train Boxcar

Butch: "Whatever they're sellin', I don't want it"

Greatest Funniest Movie Moments and Scenes
(alphabetical order, by film title)
Intro | A1 | A2 | B1 | B2 | C1 | C2 | D1 | D2 | E | F | G | H-I | J-K-L
M1 | M2 | N-O | P1 | P2 | Q-R | S1 | S2 | T | U-V-W-X-Y-Z

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